Manhardeep Singh

5 Action Ideas to Deal with Difficult People

March 7, 2018

When was the last time you had to deal with a difficult customer? It was probably an external customer or perhaps it was an internal customer, such as a member of your team, a colleague or even – your boss!

I’m sure that you always want to provide exceptional service to both your internal and external customers. However, in the real world, things go wrong and mistakes are made. These “customers” will often judge your level of service based on how you respond to a mistake. Do it well and they’ll probably forgive you and possibly even say positive things about your business or your abilities to other people.

The important thing to realize when dealing with an upset customer, be they internal or external, is that you must deal with their feelings, then deal with their problem. Upset customers are liable to have strong feelings when you, your product or service lets them down and they’ll probably want to “dump” these feelings on you.

You don’t deal with their feelings by concentrating on solving the problem, it takes more. Here are 5 action ideas that deal with the customers’ human needs:

1 – Don’t let them get to you – Stay out of it emotionally and concentrate on listening non-defensively and actively. Customers may make disparaging and emotional remarks – don’t rise to the bait.

2 – Listen – listen – listen – Look and sound like you’re listening. The customer wants to know that you care and that you’re interested in their problem.

3 – Stop saying sorry – Sorry is an overused word, everyone says it when something goes wrong and it’s lost its value. How often have you heard – “Sorry ’bout that, give me the details and I’ll sort this out for you”. Far better to say “I apologize for ……” And if you really need to use the sorry word, make sure to include it as part of a full sentence. “I’m sorry you haven’t received that information as promised, Mr Smith”. (It’s also good practice to use the customers name in a difficult situation).

4 – Empathize – Using empathy is an effective way to deal with the customers feelings. Empathy isn’t about agreement, only acceptance of what the customer is saying and feeling. Basically the message is – “I understand how you feel”. Obviously this has to be a genuine response, the customer will realize if you’re insincere and they’ll feel patronized. Examples of empathy responses would be – “I can understand that you’re angry”, or “I see what you mean”. Again, these responses need to be genuine.

5 – Build rapport – Sometimes it’s useful to add another phrase to the empathy response, including yourself in the picture – “I can understand how you feel, I don’t like it either when I’m kept waiting”. This has the effect of getting on the customer’s side and builds rapport. Some customer service people get concerned with this response as they believe it’ll lead to – “Why don’t you do something about it then”. The majority of people won’t respond this way if they realize that you’re a reasonable and caring person. If they do, then continue empathizing and tell the customer what you’ll do about the situation. “I’ll report this to my manager” or “I’ll do my best to ensure it doesn’t happen in the future”.

Make no mistake about it; customers, be they internal or external, are primarily driven by their emotions. It’s therefore important to use human responses in any interaction particularly when a customer is upset or angry. If customers like you and feel that you care, then they’re more likely to accept what you say and forgive your mistakes.
4 Tips To Ensure A Rewarding Experience When Hiring Others

March 6, 2018

Hiring an employee can be a big step for many small business owners. It means the end of doing EVERYTHING yourself and passing off some of the work!

In order to make the experience rewarding for both you and your employees there are a few things that every boss and leader should do…

1) Reward people for a job well done. Its frustrating working for someone who enjoys all the financial rewards of the efforts put forth by the entire team, especially if they don’t recognize what everyone has accomplished and contributed.

It doesn’t take much to acknowledge the effort of your staff. It makes a HUGE difference in the working atmosphere when you take a few moments to acknowledge your team. People like to know that they’ve done a good job.

2) Always provide a balance between positive and negative comments. Your job as a leader is to recognize the talents of those around you and feed them with the motivation and positive energy to take YOUR ideas to entirely new levels. Help them serve you better by building up their confidence… not tearing it down.

3) Step up and accept responsibility for your projects. At the end of the day if things don’t go according to plan, in my opinion, the responsibility falls onto the leader’s shoulders. Stand up and accept the responsibility should anything ever go wrong.

If your staff always bear the burden of projects gone bad, it will drag people down and destroy your working environment. Start contributing to the emotional bank account of those around you.

If you acknowledge the behavior you want to see more of, you’ll start seeing more of it. Be positive and accept some responsibility when things don’t go according to plan.

4) When you have good people it’s your responsibility as a leader to hold on to them. People with talent will take your company to entirely new levels but if they keep leaving, the growth of your company will be stinted.

People with skills know that they have options. Hanging the carrot of a potential big pay day will only work for a certain period of time. After a while it wears off and they start looking elsewhere. The last thing you want is for them to end up with your competition.

So the moral of the story is find good people, train them, treat them well, and your business will take off.
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3 Worst Mistakes People Make in a Presentation

March 5, 2018

Truly memorable disasters don’t just happen. They require a special blend of misunderstanding and misguided effort. Here are three ways to guarantee a disaster in your next presentation, and how to avoid them.

Mistake #1: Believe in Magic

Show up hoping that a coherent, eloquent, useful presentation will magically appear once you start speaking. Avoid any type of preparation. Just wing it.

What Happens
Everyone is amazed by the presentation because they expected more. They are also bored and disappointed. They may even become upset because an unprepared presentation insults the audience by wasting their time. Unprepared presentations sound like, well, unprepared presentations.

Instead
Prepare. Identify the goal for your talk. Design a presentation that achieves that goal. Talk with key members of the audience about their expectations. Rehearse.

Mistake #2: Memorize your speech

Spend untold hours committing every precious word to memory so that you can recite it even if awakened in the middle of the night.

What Happens
You sound like a machine. And if you stumble on a word, you can become stuck–speechless. I’ve seen this happen, and it’s painful.

Instead
Learn your presentation. Yes, write a script. Memorize the first and last sentences and then practice giving the presentation without looking at the script. Practice many times. Eventually, you will learn how to convey the key ideas in a natural, normal way.

Mistake #3: Talk About Yourself

Focus entirely on yourself. Tell about your background, your credentials, and your history. Tell your story. Just talk about yourself. Make the presentation all about you, yourself, and your life.

What Happens
They listen politely. If you manage to be entertaining enough, they may actually pay attention. Otherwise, the audience reacts by thinking, “So what?”

Instead
Talk about the audience. That is, talk about what they need and how they can achieve it.
3 Ways To Protect Your Customers

March 4, 2018

Customer security is one of the prime considerations of any retail outlet today. Whilst implementing key marketing strategies in order to promote products and increase sales, retail managers also need to be thinking about how safe their customers feel in-store and ways they can improve the attractiveness of their space for shoppers.

Lighting

Good lighting is a key aspect of the customer experience. Stores require lighting that allows customers to see what they are doing and to ensure that no area of the shop is dimly lit or dark, as this is where thefts or attacks could occur. This is particularly important in fitting room areas and in toilet and baby-change facilities where customers are out of the general flow of the shop and there is a reduced staff presence.

CCTV systems

Customers are comforted by the presence of CCTV systems in retail stores. They know that these systems are designed to prevent crime and automatically feel safer in an environment where cameras provide a deterrent to would-be criminals. A CCTV system also often means at least one member of staff dedicated to security and this also makes customers feel more at ease.

Space

The retail environment is one that’s constantly under threat from petty crime – from shoplifting items to pick-pocketing customers. This type of crime is easier to commit in small, crowded shops, where people are more tightly packed into a space and it is difficult for staff, security cameras or general shoppers to see what is going on. It’s easy for people to put goods in their bags without paying for them or to steal a handbag and be out of the shop before anyone’s realised. A key way to defeat this type of crime is by arranging your goods so that there’s more space in the store. This makes it immediately more obvious if someone is acting suspiciously, and customers are more likely to be aware if someone is too close to them or demonstrating threatening behaviour.

There are various other ways that you can make your customers feel safe, but lighting, space and visible CCTV security go a long way to reassuring customers that they are shopping in a safe environment. The safer and more confident your customers feel, the more likely they are to spend money in your store.
21 Days to A Positive-Attitude Habit

March 3, 2018

This may come as a surprise… but your attitude is more important than your aptitude in determining your success in life!

Just how critical is attitude to achievement? Well, take a look at one of the greatest inventors of the last two hundred years – Thomas Edison. Every time you turn on a light switch, you experience the result of his persistence in the face of continuous failure.

Edison tried 10,000 times to get his light bulb invention to work, but failed each time. However, he had this to say about his lack of success. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

You can learn to have this kind of outlook on life, but it needs to be purposefully installed into your daily living.

You probably know it takes about 21 days to break a habit by replacing it with a new one. If you are plagued with persistent negative thoughts toward life, you can replace this mindset with a new positive-attitude habit!
Here is a 21-day five-step program to change a negative attitude to a positive one:

1. Take charge of what you’re thinking.
This is a moment-by-moment decision that doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a habit that will take some time to build. How can you do this? Choose to think uplifting thoughts instead of discouraging ones.

You get to decide what you think, which in turn determines how you feel. Become aware of this and dwell on positive ideas throughout the day.

At first you may have to force yourself to find something positive. Consider keeping a journal and write down at least one good thing in your life each day for three weeks. Then think about these blessings instead of discouraging thoughts.

2. Read inspirational material.
During this 21-day training period, fill your mind with good thoughts. The best book of all to read is that priceless diamond of world literature – the Bible. You’ll never know what wonderful results from reading it are around the corner until you open its covers!

3. Focus on others.
For the next 21 days make an extra effort to help other people. Concentrating on assisting others will help you more than you realize. If you succeed in becoming wealthy but are poor in respect to your relationships, you will not be truly prosperous at all!

So make a special effort of focusing on others during your 21 days of building your new positive-attitude habit. This will free you up to allow the butterfly of happiness to land on your shoulder when you least expect it.

4. Take care of your health needs.
It’s hard to maintain a positive mindset if you’ve neglected your physical needs. So during the 21 days of your attitude retraining make an extra effort to eat nutritious balanced meals.

Not getting enough sleep will also be a tremendous hindrance, so make sure you’re getting adequate rest. And don’t forget to get enough exercise. When you feel down, try to take a brisk 30-minute walk. You’ll feel revived!

5. Learn contentment
For the next 21 days focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have. Live in the present and enjoy your blessings.

Try to forget acquiring stuff for the purpose of keeping up with others. That only leads to more anxiety. Be thankful for what you do have instead.

When going through difficult experiences – remember that adversity can be a blessing in disguise. You might learn some important lessons during those tough times – like Thomas Edison did. (I know I have.)

These lessons can turn into credentials that will enable you to help others when they’re going through tough times.

So don’t let negativity ruin your present and future. Instead, build a new habit of having a positive attitude. It will take about 21 days to start seeing consistent changes in the way you think, but it will be worth it!

Now choose the starting date for your attitude-renewal adventure and go for it!
How about today?
5 Ways To Keep Romance Alive – On A Budget

March 2, 2018

Just about everyone agrees that a nice dinner and a good bottle of wine at a quiet, intimate restaurant will set the mood for romance, but have you seen the price tag? Not everyone can afford to spend big money on romance every time, but a bit of creativity can get the same results without breaking the bank.

While most people know about ‘his and hers’ items like bathrobes and towels, there are a number of other items that can be enjoyed together as ‘couples’ items. Try getting matching T-shirts with cute sayings on them. Have matching his and hers overnight bags, coffee mugs, bicycles, cell phones, cars, holiday ornaments, tennis rackets, rocking chairs and even matching carved pumpkins on Halloween.

Surprise your partner by making the ordinary a little more special. If he or she is enjoying a good book, remove the bookmark and replace it with a note that says, “I bet you’ll never guess where I’ve hidden your bookmark.” If they always turn the TV on when they come home from work, tape a note on the television that says, “Wouldn’t you rather turn me on?” instead.

Making important memories is one way to be romantic on a budget. Challenge your partner to remember the most romantic kiss that you’ve seen in a movie. This will lead to some discussion about romantic kisses and should enhance the mood. As a surprise, buy that movie one day and try to recreate that special romantic kiss! Keep it in a special place and re-watch it whenever the mood strikes. If you can’t agree on the single most romantic kiss, go ahead and create a top five list. This tip works for anything. The top five most romantic songs. The top five most romantic movies. The top five most romantic books. You see the pattern. Make sure to go ahead and buy the books, songs, movies or whatever so you can use them in the future.

If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it’s up to you whether or not you tell him or her!). You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.

It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie. Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface. You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages. Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing. You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.

These 5 simple ideas are sure to warm up any relationship. Don’t be afraid to try simple tips and changes to “routines” to spice things up without having it cost a fortune!
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5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

March 1, 2018

It is not uncommon that I am constantly asked why so many relationships fail. To get to the root cause of this menace, I have discovered five major relationship killers:

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories – overt control and covert control.

Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule.

Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked.

Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.

RESISTANCE

Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled – of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance – withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination.

When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant – which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled – the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.

NEEDINESS

Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner’s job to fill their emptiness, take away their loneliness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need.

SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS

Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.

EYES ON PARTNER’S PLATE

Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner’s resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner’s anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner’s addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.

RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

All relationship killers come from fear – of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.

The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner’s plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.
Are You Worried? 4 Steps to Peace of Mind

February 28, 2018

A friend has this quotation on his office wall: “I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens.”

I think I must believe that, because I worry a lot — and about the most insignificant things. I worry about the big things, of course, like health, relationships, and finances. But I’m also liable to fret about anything and everything that finds its way into my consciousness.

Because I spend so much time on worry, I’ve decided to embrace it with a personal research project. Maybe you’d like to join me.

Here are two avenues I’m exploring:

1) I practice catching myself at it. “Hey, I’m worrying again.” During a recent evening walk, I caught myself worrying 10 times during one round! I’m not kidding. On rare days when I don’t have anything to worry about, I find something. What I’ve learned is that worry is a mental habit. I can change habits; I’ve done it before. There’s hope.

2) My second approach is to practice presence. By this I mean stopping my thoughts. In my workshops, I ring a bell to help participants practice centering. The quieter we are, the longer we hear the bell. There’s a lovely moment when we all listen . . . until the ring is barely audible . . . then just a memory. I relish that moment of quiet before my thoughts re-engage. There is no future or past, just Now. No worrying thoughts — no thoughts at all. It’s a peaceful place, which is why I stretch the moment. I want to strengthen the connection to something greater than my worries.

3) When I told my good friend Shivi about my worry project, she told me about her approach, which is to do one of the three things: decide to address the issue right then; if you can’t do anything about it at the moment, give yourself a time to address it later; or decide that it is not important and let it go. In other words, act on it, file it or throw it away.

4) Finally, one of Shivi’s favorite worry stoppers (and mine) is to sing. Connect with your self, your creativity, and the place where everything really is okay.

Awareness and acknowledgment are the keys to changing our habits. Morihei Ueshiba, who founded aikido and spoke of it as the Art of Peace, said we must “always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner.” Perhaps my research project on worry will help me to lighten up, smile, and live each day in such a way.

Are you worrying? Stop your thoughts for a moment. Listen to the sounds around you, pay attention, and be present to this key moment. And smile . . . for no reason. You may find that’s the best reason of all.