Manhardeep Singh is an India-based bestselling author and graphologist. With a passion for self-help literature, he has penned the book 12 Laws of the Universe, alongside other notable titles in his 12 Laws Series, including 12 Laws of Life, 12 Laws of Karma, and 12 Laws of Being Human.
Manhardeep’s writing is characterized by its insightful exploration of universal principles that guide personal growth and transformation. He believes in empowering readers to unlock their potential through understanding the laws that govern their lives.
Anxiety or panic attacks are sudden periods of intense anxiety, fear and discomfort. While these attacks might seem to happen for no reason, they’re actually the body’s response to what it perceives as the need for “fight or flight”.
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The attacks usually last about ten minutes, but can be as short as one minute. In severe cases, these attacks can happen in cycles. These cycles may last for extended periods. These cycles can cause “anticipation” anxiety between episodes.
Physical symptoms of anxiety attacks generally include shortness of breath, heart palpitations and sweating. Tingling and numbness in the extremities, dizziness, lightheadedness, headaches and nausea are also commonly experienced. These may appear to be random, but they’re actually the result of the body’s preparations for protection.
The anxiety attack is brought on by a sudden onset of fear. In response, the body releases adrenaline followed by increases in the heart and breathing rate and production of sweat (to regulate body temperature).
These actions prepare the body for the physical activities of fighting or escaping. Because the anticipated strenuous activity rarely follows the panic attack, these reactions result in physical discomfort.
The increased heart rate is felt as heart palpitations. Rapid breathing (hyperventilation) results in a drop in carbon dioxide levels in the lungs and blood.
This leads to the tingling, numbness, dizziness and lightheadedness. The adrenaline causes a narrowing of the blood vessels which results in less blood flow to the head. This also contributes to the lightheadedness and headaches.
Your mental health is an amazing part of what makes you as a person. Personal development is a way of life that affects your mind, actions, and how you treat others around you. It plays a vital role on your over-all well being and the relationships around you. Often times, we get so caught up in the physical aspects of what’s on the outside and forget to take care of the inside.
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Exercising our brain consciously and subconsciously is an important factor when improving one’s life and creating a healthy state of mind as we age. When a person is depressed, stressed, tired, and frustrated it affects everything we do as well as the people closest to us. I remember someone telling me in a depressed state, that she couldn’t even watch television because she didn’t want to watch the living.
When I get down, I often think of that comment and it reminds me of a place I don’t ever want to be. Isolating yourself for others could turn into something very dangerous and unfortunately help will only start with one person. YOU! Although there is a laundry list of books and professional help, also recommended, but if this article gives you a jump start to just get you slightly motivated to move forward, then moving an inch is greater than lying still.
Depression and anxiety will use every good power that you have against you. Keep in mind that the most talented individual wouldn’t get anywhere without persistence. Persistence and determination are the first steps to controlling your thoughts and feelings. Many medications can trigger depression, make sure to consult with your doctor to see if this has any effects on the way you are feeling.
Studies indicate that the most common reason for depression is the lack of interests and activities. When improving your personal life, interests and activities are vital in mental health, self-esteem and happiness. Although this does not help much when fighting boredom, or other problems but you can best improve your mental health by practicing many of them until you do well. When you are depressed it is easy to forget all of the things we liked to do. Motivation can help us overcome trying something new or remembering exactly what made us happy. Asking friends and family to help motivate me is a tool that I use when I’m in the need of a little push. Reward yourself when accomplishing tasks, such as getting the laundry done before watching your favorite television show.
Negative thinking also plays a major role in depression. The happiest of people experience the same pain, suffering and sorrows, just like a person depressed. To accept troubles gracefully and keeping a positive attitude is where you’ll find how some people cope with things on a different level.
Ask yourself, are your expectations realistic? Accepting a situation for what it is can eliminate your negative feelings. Taking action for your own negative ways of thinking and turning those thoughts positive means that you are motivating yourself to change. Tackle what is bothering you, and take a bad situation and turn it into something good. A little humor helps my situation from time to time, meaning laughter does a great deal for our mind and body. Try not to constantly worry about being happy. Developing interests, activities, friendships and learning how to cope with the emotional pain will conquer your personal problems and further solve your thinking habits. Doing this will get you on the road of happiness, as long as you put forth the effort.
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“We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.”
Winston Churchill
I remember reading some time ago about a study of longevity in humans. There has been a large body of scientific research into the reasons why some people are long-lived but of course while various diets, health regimes, and regional or ethnic differences are often linked to living long, it is a very difficult cause and effect relationship to determine because there are so many other variables involved. However, the study I remember didn’t spend as much time on health and diet as many others. The researchers spent time observing and interviewing a number of people who are living long lives to determine what common factors these very diverse people shared.
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Do you know what the single largest factor they all shared – the trait that the researchers determined played the largest role in their long lives? It wasn’t a specific food or faith or daily activity. It was simply the way these folks dealt with adversity.
The ways that these folks dealt with adversity did vary. Some had great religious faith, others had an unquenchable zest for life, and others had a great determination that they could and would overcome difficulty.
If you think about it then this does seem to make sense. After all, the longer you live then the more adversity you must overcome. Human life is fraught with adversity – both physical and emotional – although each person’s experience varies greatly. In order to survive adversity, to overcome loss and difficulty, and to succeed in life a person must have inner resources to draw from.
As Oliver Wendell Holmes says: “If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don’t embrace trouble; that’s as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.”
Most of us have seen the evidence of this even if we have never formulated a scientific theory about it. We have seen the cancer patient diagnosed and then does not even live out the time doctors predicted. We have seen the heart patient diagnosed who far outlives expectations – by months and then years. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? I believe it has to be a will to live, some inner resource, that one group possesses and the other does not.
A few weeks ago my friend Carl’s left hand was amputated after being injured in an accident with a log splitter. It was devastating to those who love him and certainly no one would have blamed him for becoming depressed and grieving.
But Carl hasn’t chosen that path. Instead he focused on what he can do, not on what he can’t. And if he discovers something that he can’t do one-handed then he puts his considerable problem-solving abilities to work on a solution. He isn’t simply reacting to a tragic accident but proactively seeking solutions.
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He is not a saint. He complains about the pain and discomfort of the healing process and is sometimes frustrated by the trial-and-error process of his problem-solving, but he is not wasting time feeling sorry for himself. He knows he has been given many gifts and those gifts include the ability to solve problems and overcome adversity.
I can only hope when my time comes to face adversity that I can meet it with as much energy, determination, and confidence.
In all application of magnetism to persons, you are urged to remember that your very first goal, always and preeminently, is an agreeable feeling within their minds. You should never try to induce a person to act your way until you have thoroughly established in him a good feeling toward yourself. This is the prime initial step. When such a condition has been secured, you are then ready for the magnetic assault and then only.
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When you are dealing with other people, endeavoring magnetically to win them to your wish, you should summon the general magnetic feeling within yourself, will them to do as you desire, and at the same time think of them as already consenting and acting. Your inner condition should be perfectly calm, buoyant, hopeful, whatever the external means employed, your mind should be concentrated upon the thing desired, and its accomplishment should be thought of as now secured.
The response of the person may be delayed, but this should not discourage you, for some minds do not take suggestions (those of your unspoken will are referred to) quickly, and they do not act instantly upon their own thought. It is invariably best to induce people to believe that they are acting on their personal impulse or judgment; they should be made to feel perfectly free, not at all coerced, and that they are doing their own will rather than yours simply because they wish so to do.
We may summarize all these suggestions in the words of a distinguished scientific writer:
“Life is not a bully who swaggers out into the open universe, upsetting the laws of energy in all directions, but rather a consummate strategist, who, sitting in his secret chamber over his wires, directs the movements of a great army.” This is a good description of magnetism.
The success-magnetism assumption: We are now ready for the great assumption-principle of magnetism in applied life.
Think of every goal as already reached, of every undertaking as already achieved.
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Let us understand. You cannot reasonably hope to succeed by merely dreaming about success. You surely cannot achieve success if you plunge blindly through your career. You cannot really succeed without possessing some degree of personal magnetism.
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When you began reading this article, you certainly possessed a measure of magnetic capacity, either physical or psychic. If you have energetically observed its directions, you have developed both varieties; but, above that, you have also combined them into one living whole, the magnetic personality.
This result has required at least a year of persistent effort. If you have arrived at this point in less time, you should go back and begin where haste first retarded your progress.
Magnetism is a natural growth
No matter how great may be your ability to read and understand books, that growth, that law, requires time as well as intelligent effort. No matter how poor may be your ability in such respect, that growth is absolutely certain if you put reasonable time and genuine effort into its acquisition.
The giant trees of California were once puny saplings. The slow lapse of time has drawn nature into their mighty hearts. Magnetism can no more be acquired by the mere reading an article, or by hurried practice of its directions, than can these giants of the West be produced in the hot-house culture of a northern summer.
Magnetic growth is naturally slow. Its principles, its methods, and the results of its study, have to be deeply sunk into and absorbed and assimilated by the subjective self before the reaction of magnetism in the objective life can obtain. If you have read these lines correctly, you have learned that magnetic growth cannot be hurried. These statements are placed here because, had they appeared at the beginning, the outlook would have seemed, perhaps, discouraging, but more especially because they would not have been understood. You now understand them because you have toiled, and you can afford to smile at such possible discouragement. You have paid an easy price for magnetic power, for the gains discount the pains.
Magnetism and practical life.
The faithful observance of these suggestions has developed many surprises during the time occupied. The growth of magnetism involves an intense and continuous concentration of thought upon the psychic field, and it is very likely that you may find it necessary to guard against that danger. The method of so guarding is briefly indicated below.
The sole value of magnetism consists in its practical application to everyday affairs. Success-Magnetism is not an accomplishment merely; it is a practical power. When rightly developed and used, it controls the subjective self in the concrete work of the objective. The definition of the goal you have been seeking now appears:
Success-magnetism is personal magnetism intelligently multiplied into actual life.
I was talking with first-line supervisors in a utility company about how to deal with poor performing employees.
“You’ve gotta put the screws to him!” suggested one supervisor to his colleague who was having trouble managing one particular poor performer.
“I’ve put so many screws to him he’s dead weight!” the supervisor replied.
We all knew what “putting the screws to him” meant – using rewards and punishments to force change in behavior.
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The trouble is, rewards and punishments are the least effective ways of dealing with poor performers. That’s because poor performers are usually smart, motivated, and tenacious – when it comes to poor performing.
To change the behavior of poor performers, avoid the outside-in approach of rewards and punishments and cultivate an inside-out approach.
Aesop understood that. There is the Aesop’s fable of the wind and sun competing to see who can remove a coat from a man. The wind tries to blow the coat off, but the man clutches it tightly to his body. Then the sun grows hotter, and the man, perspiring heavily and getting hotter and hotter, gladly rips the coat off.
The leadership lesson is clear: You can bluster and blow to get somebody to accomplish a task, but that’s not as effective as setting up a situation in which the person gladly does it.
Here is a way to deal with poor performers using Aesop’s lesson: the 90-Day Improvement Plan. A business leader tells me that he uses such plans as tools for change. Each plan is comprised of two pages: the first page pointing out that the individual must improve and the second page detailing the precise ways that improvement must take place.
“Be specific about improvement,” he says. “For instance, one leader I gave an Improvement Plan to was very bright but was not getting results. He tended to deal with future, strategic issues; whereas our business wants results now, preferably yesterday. We identified specific ways he could improve his performance in getting results, such as precise calls to make and exact, quick-closing targets to pursue.”
The objective of 90-Day Improvement Plans should not be to get rid of people. “Their objective is to improve performance,” he says. “Though I do write on the first page, ‘If the objectives are not met, further actions, including dismissal, can be taken.’”
He sometimes combines Improvement Plans with the force-ranking of all his leaders into a 20/60/20 continuum. The bottom 20 percent get the Plan. He says, “My objective is to have the bottom 20 percent be indispensable leaders.”
Mind you, in developing a 90-day Improvement Plan, keep Aesop’s fable in mind and seek not compliance but commitment. The Improvement Plan must not be imposed from without but agreed upon. Here is a four-step process to do that.
First, all parties must agree to develop a 90-Day Improvement Plan. If people are forced to do it, it won’t work as it should.
Second, ask the poor performers to describe what should be in it. Remember, you can veto any suggestions. However, it is best if its key components come from the other people. Only after they have run out of suggestions do you incorporate yours.
Third, develop the Plan together, and agree on its action steps.
Fourth, implement it. Have weekly or bi-weekly meetings to insure the Plan is being carried out.
If the Plan is forced upon someone, it becomes just another screw, another imposed reward/ punishment. However, if it is put together with mutual consent, indeed with mutual enthusiasm, it becomes the screw driver by which poor performers may very well gladly put the screws into themselves.
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Have you tried creative loafing? It is a good excuse to relax, and also a great way to come up with new ideas and solutions to problems. How does one creatively loaf? Just relax, open your mind, and use one of the many idea-generating techniques.
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A Creative Loafing Technique
My favorite technique is one that is best for generating new ideas rather than solving specific problems. It can be used in any area of life. It is simply the imagining of new applications for existing ideas.
Once, while laying on the couch, I saw an advertisement for a company that uses a dog to find mold in your house. You may know that dogs can be trained to sniff out almost anything. There was even a news story a year or two ago about a dog that could detect if you had cancer.
What was my first thought? “I wonder what else dogs could find by smell?” The first idea that came to mind was to use dogs to find other pets. They find lost people so well, so why not have a service to find lost pets? just one sniff of the cats favorite rug, and the dog is on the trail.
You can certainly use your relaxing times to just randomly ponder things, but why not put creative loafing together with a good idea-generating technique. Then you can lay under a tree and have an endless stream of creative new ideas. For this “new-application technique,” just start with the essence of the idea, and look for new ways to use it.
For example, you might lay there and think about the pneumatic tubes that deliver your money and papers at a bank’s drive-through. The essence is a cartridge that delivers things through a tube using air pressure. I imagine the same thing would work for human transport. Could you ride “the tube” to the next city, or maybe make this into an amusement park ride?
Look other aspects of an idea too. For example, these tubes allow several customers to be waited on at once. Where else do they need this? A fast food drive through comes to mind. Perhaps pneumatic tubes would spill drinks, but the idea of multiple car lanes can be used. Several drive-through windows, radiating out like spokes, at different angles, would allow three different lines of cars.
If you want to practice using this technique, just lay back and…
Imagine three new uses for pedal-power.
Imagine two new uses for magnets.
Think of a new application for Darwin’s theory of natural selection, outside of biology.
Can you see how easy it is to come up with new ideas? Why not learn a few more techniques? Then apply them to personal problems. Finally, to make the best use of your creative loafing time, keep a notebook or use the audio recorder in your phone.
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Being happy is easy when life is going well; but what about when circumstances spin out of control and bad things happen one right after another.
We all have times when we feel that we just can’t get out from under the storm clouds. How do people stay happy during the tough times?
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It’s been said time and time again that when the going gets tough the tough get going, but some people don’t find that at all easy to do.
Positive attitudes can help, but knowing that there is a higher power that controls the chess pieces of our lives lets us know that this hard time is only a bump in the road and will soon pass.
This deep acceptance of faith is called joy; and hard times simply can’t compete with pure joy.
We may not understand why bad things happen to good people, but we know that they do and always will. Bad things happen to bad people too, just as good things happen to good people.
It’s just the way it is. If we can simply understand that we can’t know certain things on this side of life, which will help us get through life here.
Try to look at everything as part of God’s plan and as a positive experience; find joy in the simple pleasures in life and don’t let the circumstances of the day (or week) get you down!
When we are mad, we are consuming our energy and time on negative forces that may or may not prove results. Anger is an emotion that we all have and when we use anger to our advantage, it often takes us further than blowing up in an uproar.
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Anger that strikes, hits, punches, curses, assaults emotions and so forth are negative anger that causes more problems. Dealing with emotions and anger is never easy when we have probable cause to become ignited. When others hurt our feelings, attack our intellect, and take advantage of us it can upset anyone.
We are facing problems that include, anger, prejudice, mental illnesses, substance abuse and crime everyday. However, negative anger can only hurt and rarely help anyone. Instead of resolving their problems, they added more problems to everyone’s life. See when you expose uncontrolled anger, you are not only hurting yourself but you are hurting other people as well.
Anger is increasingly causing more problems for our entire world. Since we are dealing with terrorist, serial murders, child and spouse abuse and other types of violence, we know that the world is heading for disaster unless someone comes up with the master plan to deal with all the anger surfacing the earth.
We can see anger has interrupted many lives and continues as we engage in wars. We have professional leaders that are unable to deal with anger since when a problem occurs violence is the ultimate result. We can also look back in history and review the other wars that plagued our system. The wars always affect us all in some way. It affects the economy, the environment, parents, teachers, children and anyone that is touched by anger.
If we are going to get ahead in life, we have to find a way that deals with anger on all individualities. Anger is a sign of mental illness, substance abuse and common society. Some of us act out violently while others of us find a more suitable way to deal with our problems. If we use anger positively we are sure to have a much more productive life. In a way, we all rely on each other whether it is directly or indirectly. If you have a problem with anger, there are anger management classes to rely on, or mental health experts waiting to help you deal with your anger.
If you have substance abuse issues that contribute to anger then alcohol and drug classes are free of charge to help you learn how to deal with your stress and anger. The people that attend most of these meetings have their own problems and have found a way to deal with them more effectively.
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Anger rules the world at this point since we are all touched by the violence that plagues our system, but if we all take the first step to dealing with our emotions and anger then our lives will benefit us all. If you know someone that is dealing with anger show the person some patience and help him or her find the help they need before it is too late. Remember, negative anger consumes our time, burns our energy and often wastes our money.
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Throughout our lives, we all had the desire to be all we can be, although some of us ignore this desire. Many times, we may stay in our comfort zone without realizing that we are passing up opportunities to do something that we truly enjoy. Of course, the money may be good, your bills are paid and you find it easy to work with repetition. Yet, are you happy?
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When you are ready to improve your personal life, you must turn your wants into needs. I need to be successful. I need to be a great parent. I need that promotion. I need to save my relationship, etc.
How to be your own life coach
Many of us spend time convincing ourselves that our dreams will never come true. We may feel that our dreams do not amount to anything. Poor self-esteem hinders the quality of life. In addition, you miss being your own coach. You can turn the negative thoughts into positive reflections, which will guide you to improve overall personal life. The next time you feel like turning yourself into a destructive thinker, breath deep and say, I love myself, just the way I am. Learn to walk tall and habitually think about what you want to achieve. Set plans, write down your goals, and take action to reach those goals. You may want to learn something simple. Learn how to be a better cook. Stop yelling at the children.
Thinking positive is a great start to improving overall personal life. Surrounding yourself around good influences will encourage you to acquire better behaviors. You will learn to practice these new habits daily. Once you conquer your obstacles, you can mark off the list of poor behaviors you have written down.
Tips for personal development and growth:
Learn to say no. For some of us, our natural instincts lead us in the right direction to helping others. Are you sacrificing your needs however, to consistently take care of other people’s needs? Are you taking time out of each day to pamper yourself for fifteen minutes or so? Are you taking actions to stop persistence that spreads yourself too thin?
If you spread yourself too thin, it will lead to sleepless nights, since you will feel anxious and depressed. Do you constantly keep yourself in the center of drama? If so, do not allow others to drag you down. Try to stay away from situations that drag you down and take you beyond your control. If you are focusing on the wrong items in life, you are not improving overall personal life.
Do you tell that you are not good enough? Do you say you are not strong? Do you feel like you are not enough? Do you feel like you deserve what you get, when what you get causes you sadness?
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For some people it is easy to focus on negativity, which causes them ongoing depression. If you are one of those people at interviews, when asked about your qualities, skills, etc, speaks out rambling off your bad qualities, you need to stop now. What you are doing is taking away your opportunities to achieve.
Some of us are lost at words when it comes to speaking highly of ourselves. For some people this seems selfish, or boisterous, yet it is not. Learn to become your own best friend and give yourself frequent compliments.
Stop focusing on your self and criticizing your every move, and forget about the past mistakes and focus on your future. Sure, we can say it is easier said than done; yet if you put forth effort it is easier than you believe. So many times, we do not take full responsibility of our own actions.
We rather live a life blaming others for our mistakes or misfortunes. Do not obsess over past mistakes, live in denial, and stop blaming others to see how your life will improve. We all make bad choices in life. This is a part of living. Learn from your mistakes and move ahead. Treat each new experience as a point of learning. Next, we can learn how to wake up to improving overall personal life.
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