Manhardeep Singh

How To Identify Stress And Anxiety?

June 14, 2018

Every human being is an emotional being. The levels of emotions may be high or low. But when that level is disturbed, you have stress and anxiety. The dividing line between these two negative tendencies is very thin. Your anxiety may be due to stress or your stress may be due to anxiety. Every stress and anxiety has a root cause to it. And the symptoms are the by products of such causes.

The first symptom of stress is that you are not a normal person, when you are seized with it. Your face will indicate what you are! They say the face is the mirror of the man. Your emotions will be disturbed and it will show up on your face.

You have a feeling that is difficult to explain. You have only questions, with no definite answers. If there are answers, they are multiple answers. You see several options before you, you see several paths before you, but unable to decide which one is yours. The worry and uncertainty of the failure haunts you. You are totally confused. All these are stress symptoms.

Further, with the feeling of anxiety your self-esteem is hurt and motivation is punctured. You feel that you have come to a dead end. It is a state of uneasiness that you are unable to explain with convincing reasons. You are a split personality. Your emotions are not responding to your reason. You begin to come to haphazard conclusions. Most importantly, you don’t understand why you feel what you feel. The way you feel. You are facing some grim experiences and your attitude turns cynical. You feel that the human beings are ignoble. You feel that the whole world is ignoble!

To walk to your freedom from the levels of stress of anxiety, you need to walk from darkness to light, from the secret den to the open sun. The fire-brand personality within you has to bloom. There is nothing wrong in the situations around you. Everything is happening the way it should! At the moment you may feel that it is working to your disadvantage. Your present confusion is due to your wrong perception of matters, not due to the reality of the issue involved. You are unnecessarily seeing the serpent in the rope, due the surrounding darkness. When the light is thrown in that area, you see that it a piece of lifeless rope!

What could be the root causes of symptoms of your stress and anxiety? Whenever you make compromises with your deep core values and your present disposition, your harmony is disturbed. Similarly, when you are worried about your future, future of your children due to economic or social circumstances it makes you anxious.

The right attitude is to live life in its trials, tribulations duty and beauty. God has created you for a purpose, try your best to fulfill it, without any motivated fear! Destroy the negative feelings, before they sprout!
How to Identify Social Anxiety in Teens

June 13, 2018

Often regarded as the most unrecognized mental disorder in teens, social anxiety disorder can take many forms and manifest itself differently per person. Most parents and adults dismiss symptoms as merely shyness or teen angst that their children will eventually outgrow. However, social phobia, as the disorder is sometimes called, can grow worse if left untreated and be debilitating over time. Recognizing social phobia in teens is crucial for their transition to adulthood and you, as adults and parents, have the responsibility of ensuring that they get help. Here are several ways of recognizing symptoms of social phobia in teens:

1. Look out for extreme shyness or discomfort in your child when put in the center of attention.

First-time performers normally get stage fright but excessive discomfort, passivity, or inactivity when put on the spotlight should merit further investigation. Although most people will attribute this situation to most teenagers’ fear of embarrassing themselves in front of their peers, do not be complacent. Talk to your child about why he or she was unable to perform. Just remember to avoid using an accusatory tone to prevent putting your child on the defensive.

2. Observe your child’s academic performance.

When your straight-A child starts bringing home B or C-graded homework and exams, you immediately worry that something is wrong. But social phobia is not that obvious. In fact, social phobia leaves little clues like hesitance to recite in class, fear of being asked to report, or even downright refusing to be part of class activities. If possible, talk to your child’s teacher about these matters and ask him or her to inform you if your child exhibits these behaviors.

3. Keep track of your child’s friends or lack thereof.

You know it; teens will spend hours on the phone, go to parties, or hang out after school. Most teens will be part of a large group or at least have a couple of friends. But teens with social phobia often isolate themselves from other people or minimize contact. They would rather attend class without homework than ask a classmate about it. They often have trouble making eye contact, initiating or joining conversations, and being part of school organizations.

4. Check your child’s confidence level.

Most teens suffering from social phobia often doubt if they are good enough for other people or worry excessively about how others see them. Their fear of being ridiculed, boring, or rejected are basic in their minds and they often look for signs of negative perception in others. This negative attitude towards meeting other people are so pervasive in their minds that it can lead to low self-esteem and inferiority complex.

5. Take note of your child’s reaction to social situations.

People suffering from social phobia exhibit physical symptoms as well, especially if they are in a social situation like family gatherings or school functions. Signs to look out for include diarrhea, nausea, excessive sweating, heart palpitations, and shortness of breath. If your teen experiences any of these symptoms during or prior to a social event, he or she may be reacting to social phobia.

If your teen exhibit all or any of these symptoms, take him or her to a psychologist for a consultation and thorough examination. Chances are high that your child knows that his or her reactions to social activities are irrational but does not know where to ask for help.
Doing What You Love

June 12, 2018

What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m sure you were asked this question at least once when you were a youngster. When asked the question, did you have an answer at the ready, or did you need a few minutes to think about it? We all had dreams of becoming something great, like a fireman, a teacher, or a rock star, just to name a few. Well, how did you do? Maybe you never aspired to be what you set out to be or said that you would become. But then again, things change. The older we get, our tastes change, our view of the world changes, even our goals change.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my career path is to do something you love to do. Why is this important? I feel that if you enjoy what you make a living at, you end up being happy in more ways than one. Life itself becomes much more interesting and fun. You find yourself speaking passionately to others about your work. The experiences you have along the way become much more rewarding, and enrich your life in many ways. You meet fascinating people. I know people who have turned favorite hobbies into small businesses, and have succeeded. Sure, they may have had to sacrifice a steady paycheck for their happiness, but not one of them either turned back or gave up. Their passion carried them through to success.

While no job or business is perfect, the important thing is to enjoy it, even learn from it. If you are unhappy in your current situation, why not take steps now to change it? Somewhere out there is a job or business that is perfect for you. If you are already there, I applaud you. If not, realize that it may take some time to figure out what you really want to do, and even more time to actually get there. That’s all right! I can tell you from experience that finding and doing what you love is absolutely worth it, every step of the way. All of the research, training, and hands-on experience has made me a stronger, happier person. Feeling in charge of my own destiny…well, there just is no greater feeling.

Do what you love, and love what you do, whatever that may be. You’ll be happier for it, trust me. I promise you will never look back.
Getting Help For Your Fear, Bipolar, And Anxiety Problems

June 11, 2018

It is not easy to deal with your fears, bipolar, or anxiety problems. The first step is that you should talk to a professional who can get you started in the right path of getting better. Getting help from a counselor or other professional is very important and can provide you much help and insights in dealing with your current problem. In addition, here are some techniques a person can use to help manage their fears, bipolar, and anxieties.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

A good way to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.

Sometimes, we may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

Remember that there is one power that is stronger than your fears and that is the power of God. A person does not have to be religious to use the power of God. When the going gets tough, talk to God about your problems as if you were talking to a friend. Review the Bible and pray hard. Be persistent and be open in the avenues that God may provide to you in solving your problem. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears, however there are all kinds of help available. The key is to be patient and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.
Giving and Taking

June 10, 2018

Is there anything that gives us more joy than giving of ourselves? I’m not talking about giving gifts; I’m talking about giving time and effort to make a difference in another person’s life. Putting some effort into giving is so much more rewarding than taking.

Time is the most wonderful gift you can give anyone. Anyone who has or had a great parent will tell you that the greatest gift their parent gave them was time. Time to read, time to play, time to talk and time to listen is fantastic gifts to children and is never forgotten.

Do you give enough time to your loved ones now that you’re an adult? Knowing that it is a precious gift that costs nothing at all makes it so easy to give!

Now, make an actual effort to give someone your time. For example, call a friend, or a Church member you know, or your sister-in-law and invite them to coffee; not someone you’ve invited before, but someone new.

Or go visit someone who is cooped up at home or in the nursing home. Bake someone cookies, or take a plant or a bouquet of flowers from your garden. Make a connection and make an effort to keep that connection.Giving, in lieu of taking, is so much more rewarding and will be a huge source of inner happiness for you, not to mention those lives you will touch. Giving is a true win-win gift!
Forget Conventional Dream Interpretation: Learn to Cultivate Your Dreams Today!

June 9, 2018

One of my favourite quotes of all time and I am sure many of you share my thoughts, is the speech by Martin Luther King at the civil rights march in Washington, 1963, which went like this:

“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood…”

“I have a dream…” Indeed. Inspiring stuff. I want to discuss our dreams in a very practical way today.

I want to talk about how to cultivate your dreaming. It really is a tremendously valuable thing to do. I want to steer away from conventional dream interpretation and will explain why.

As of today, pay attention to your dreaming and your daydreaming. Dreams are important to us in many ways, because they do the following:

Firstly, when you dream you actively process information and feelings.

Secondly, dreams are always involving many senses, so the highly sensory experience is very rich. It is quite rare for us to use all our senses at once as we do when we dream.

Thirdly, dreams give us valuable information about what is going on in our lives, whether directly or more often in a disguised or symbolic form.

Fourthly, dreams are strongly sequenced, though often in a way which is emotionally rather than logically organised.

Finally, dreams draw upon a rich range of unconscious, associative, creative links between many kinds of information.

Some people remember their dreams; others tend to forget all but the most dramatic bits as soon as they wake. When you dream or daydream, take time to replay as much of it as you can in your mind before the events of the day overlay it. Relive the story of that dream. Remind yourself of the events, pictures, sensations and other sensory information it involved.

This dream was the product of your mind. Marvel at your own creativity! This is amazing stuff here; get excited by it.

If you get into the habit of asking yourself when you wake, “what did I dream?” you may at first only remember a few particularly strong feelings or vivid images: write them down and review it regularly. I actually used to write a dream journal and wrote everything down as soon as I opened my eyes each morning. It provided me with such inspiration when I required it.

Naturally, lots of you may want to start with dream interpretation straight away. Resist the urge for dream interpretation, ok?

Do your best not to assume that there is necessarily a single clear meaning which can be interpreted according to psychological theories or books on dream significance or dream interpretation. How can your dreams have the same meaning as someone else? Is your brain the same as that persons? For now, ease off the dream interpretation.

I have found that the most useful assumption to make about dreams is that they have some kind of significance for you, the dreamer: they come from your internal, unconscious mind’s storehouse of feelings, experiences and images, and are an active and useful way of processing that is quite different from – and just as useful as – the processing that belongs to the logical conscious part of your mind.

Often a strong feeling will be your first clue to the meaning a dream has for you: so note it, and wonder about it, but don’t try to rush to tie it down by conscious analysis. The real work of the dream is often done simply in the dreaming of it: the conscious mind does not always have to understand, and when it tries to translate dreams into its own terms it may be limiting it, just as poetry translated from another language usually loses something of its more subtle tapestry of meanings.

Think about the value of dreams.

Dreams demonstrate a different level of mental functioning from conscious, disciplined thought. When you pay attention to them, and even cultivate them, you are learning to become familiar with, to trust and to draw upon a fuller range of your own mental resources: in other words, you are using more of what you’ve got. Hey, this stuff is going to keep happening, so why not really use it.

The mind works both consciously and unconsciously. Conscious thought is formally taught in our education system. Its strength is its systematic and disciplined way of handling information. Its limitation is that it tends to be rule-bound and too narrow in its problem-solving approach.

The brain also processes information at an unconscious level: mostly, this is associative and depends on links, similarities and feelings. This processing produces dreams, as well as much of our other “creative” or “expressive” experience. That is why we are often surprised by the spontaneous connections we make or insights we have, and by our imaginative inspiration: it is not what we would have come up with consciously at all, yet it seems somehow completely “right”. This way of thinking works “laterally” – it expands, goes sideways and finds multiple avenues rather than just one.

We need both kinds of functioning if we are to make the most of our brain power. Logic and intuition, discipline and divergence, are all vital tools that enrich and enable us. But whereas we are used to working with the conscious mind, in part because we are aware of it and can monitor it as it works, many people are less at ease trusting and using the unconscious processes. Paying attention to your dreams, and deliberately cultivating daydreaming, are both ways of stretching yourself into this area.

So let us have a look at the value of deliberate daydreaming. Where dreams come unbidden, you may find it useful to deliberately evoke the conditions for daydreaming, if, like many people, you have not really valued the activity before now.

How is it valuable? Daydreaming brings us escape and relaxation; visions of the future that inspire and help us to bring about what we have dreamed of; solutions to apparently unsolvable problems; inventions and creative possibilities. Daydream states allow the unconscious, associative parts of the mind to work in their own playful and imaginative ways, bringing not only pleasure but results that our usual deliberate, attentive, rational thought does not. We need space in our lives for both ways of processing if we are to realise ourselves as fully as possible.

The key to daydreaming is to be in that right state. If you want to practice, please visit my website and download the free hypnosis session there, or learn self-hypnosis, read my book “The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis” or invest in the self-hypnosis masterclass audio programme, there is nothing else as good in the world today, really there isn’t. There is a kind of automatic abstractedness that goes along with daydreaming. Mostly it just seems to happen – but when you know about creating and changing states, you can choose to make it happen.

Here are some ways you can cultivate and work with your daydreams:

Firstly, notice when you have been daydreaming. Is there any pattern of circumstances that helps bring about your particular daydreaming state?

Some people find that repetitive, relatively automatic, activities such as jogging, ironing or walking create the right state. Perhaps it is a warm bath, swimming a few lengths, or sitting in the garden. Or it may be swaying to the movement of a train, staring into space, looking out of the window of a bus on the way to work, or going on a long drive.

Once you find what helps you daydream, use it and make space for it in your life on a regular basis, imagine that you are in that experience, recreate those circumstances inside of your mind. Let daydreaming come to you, and notice what kinds of windows it opens from our ordinary world into what other kinds of possibilities. Some of your best ideas and inspirations may come at these times.

Secondly, next time you have a decision to make, or a problem to solve, or a challenge to overcome, you can set up the circumstances so that you can trigger your daydreaming state – and allow yourself to explore your problem or decision in this way. When you have done so, make some notes of what you experienced and discovered. Add that to your conscious thinking on the subject: you now have much more information, and the advantage of having engaged more of your mental resources.

Thirdly, for today, forget dream interpretation. That is a conscious and limiting thing to do. Did I make myself clear? Forget conventional dream interpretation. For now use your dreams in personal ways to you.
Cooking up Stress and Anxiety

June 8, 2018

Gone are the days when people think of cooking as a task that should be done “only by women.” In the past, women were traditionally relied upon to cook the meals for the family, do the dishes and clean the house, and be in-charge of just about every domestic task there is. But times have changed and women now play very different roles in society unlike what women of the previous decades were accustomed to. This change in gender roles has affected both women and men — especially in terms of taking the lead kitchen. Today, both men and women now appreciate the art of cooking. People with exceptional culinary skills are highly compensated. For that reason, it is no wonder that the stress that used to part and parcel of cooking is now experienced by both men and women. Food, after all, is about pleasing the senses of people who partake of one’s kitchen creations.

Cooking and stress are not often associated with each other. The word “cooking” easily connotes gustatory pleasures and not stress which is often linked to one’s work at the office or to problems at home.
But it should not be a surprise to know that stress and anxiety now affect the men and women who do the cooking as much as the salesman who tries to meet his daily quotas or the manager who faces enormous organizational challenges.

In restaurants, for example, there are now more male cooks or chefs. These kitchen experts follow a so-called “chef’s ladder” that defines the rankings and specific tasks of each person in the kitchen. There is the head chef or “Chef de Cuisine” who visualizes the dishes in accordance with the restaurant concept of dining. Next would be the Executive Chef, who actually runs the whole kitchen, manage the costs, hire and fire staff, revamp the menu, do certain administrative tasks. Under them would be the Sous Chef who make the daily specials, takes inventory, watches over the staff, and does the hands-on work in the kitchen. Also called the “Expediter”, the Sous Chef makes sure that the food gets to the table in a timely manner, a task that requires coordination and time management. With the same level as the sous chef, the pastry chef is in-charge of the pastry section of the restaurant. Mostly women reserved for women, this job requires preparation of chocolates, souffles, and sweet pastries.

Under these chefs would be the line cooks who are the ones who actually cook the food. The line cooks are divided according to certain cooking specialty. Another key member of the kitchen is the Chef de Garde Manger who manages the cold food section that includes the salads and desserts.

If you have watched an episode of the t.v. cooking show, Iron chef, you would probably know how stressful it is to work as a chef or a line cook. In that show, the cameras usually show the stress and anxiety in the chef’s faces as they try to prepare a certain number of meals under time pressure. Anxiety is also seen on the chef’s faces when the judges are tasting their dishes.

In another popular reality-based television show called Hell’s Kitchen, several people enter as contestants in a game that is supposed to select the next “big chef” in town. Being a reality show, Hell’s Kitchen often shows the stress and anxiety on the faces of the contestants while the host shouts and gets mad at them for not doing certain things right in the kitchen. Anxiety grips each contestant as they try to battle out to win the throne of being the next best chef.
How To Increase Your Capacity To Memorize Information And Overcome Test Anxiety

June 7, 2018

If you are a student who is trying to bring up your grades, there are a list of tricks that will help you to amplify your capacity to focus your concentration, absorb the data that you study, and bring it back to consciousness during an exam without being subjected to mental blocks or test anxiety. Here are the best ways that I know to establish good study habits:

(1) Create a place for study and study only in that place! Establish a peaceful room that will make possible concentration without any distractions. Some usual examples would be a library, a vacant classroom, or your home office. You will want to establish the habit of studying when you are in this place. So it is best to not use this place for other activities like daydreaming, watching TV, or playing music, etc.

BE SURE YOUR SPECIAL PLACE HAS:

(a) A comfy seat, but not excessively comfortable

(b) Your writing desk or table

(c) Excellent illumination

(d) Sufficient air flow

BE SURE YOUR SPECIAL PLACE DOES NOT HAVE:

(a) Views that will be distracting

(b) A telephone

(c) Distracting music

(d) A large screen television

(e) A companion who talks a lot

(f) A refrigerator filled with snacks

(2) Split your work into small, short-range projects.

(a) Set up small highly specific projects like, “I am going to study my English from 1 PM to 2 PM. Or else you will be setting yourself up to fail.

(b) Set a doable homework goal for the amount of time you are able to allocate. For example: finish reading chapter ten in my chemistry text, or complete a final version of my chemistry paper, etc. Set your goals when you you are ready to study but before you actually begin. Set realistic goals. You may do more than reach your goal, but set a reasonable goal even if it seems far too easy.

(3) Test Anxiety

(a) Some students experience physical symptoms for the most part, like feeling hot or cold, nausea, or faintness, etc.

(b) Other students experience mostly emotional symptoms, like feeling irritable, crying, or getting frustrated quickly.

(c) The main difficulty with anxiety is that it can make one have a memory block. Or it could make one have thoughts that are racing out of control.

(d) Although you may currently experience some level of anxiety while taking a test, you can learn to diminish that anxiety, or even completely eliminate it!

(e) Anxiety and the resultant stress are as a rule the main causes of a lack of the ability to focus your concentration. Stress can also trigger a mental block when one tries to remember information.

(f) Hypnosis CD’s can be utilized to relax your mind and focus your concentration. As your mind calms down, your ability to stay focused will increase. Similarly, a calm mind enhances your ability to retain information, and recall it when it is needed.

(g) Hypnosis and NLP CD’s can be utilized to program your mind for the positive expectation of tranquility and the ability to bring back to mind the information during an exam. This is effective at diminishing or eliminating test anxiety.

(h) There are a number of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques that can quickly do away with a test phobia!
Don’t Be A Slave To Your Things

June 6, 2018

Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit unused? Is it that you don’t have time to use them because you have to work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the things we own somehow own us.

The bad news is that it’s often true. We have to arrange our lives around our things. You get a new truck that can go anywhere, but you’re too busy working to go there. Someone is out fishing while you are putting in overtime to pay for your fishing boat. You use your large-screen television a lot, but does it sufficiently reduce the debt-stress that came with it?

Break The Chains!

The good news is that there’s a better way. Actually, there are three better ways. First, know what you really value. Second, use cash instead of debt. Third, learn how to look at costs and benefits.

Will you really enjoy that $2,000 mountain bicycle enough? Maybe. This isn’t about right or wrong desires. It’s a question of truly seeing your own values. Think back to things you’ve bought but not used, or not used enough. What truly enjoyable things could you do with that money if you had it now? You’ve got to be self aware and honest.

Cash is king. The price may seem the same, but put those things on a credit card and, with interest, you’ll pay a lot more. Cash means you have to save and wait a little for things, but you can buy more and have less stress. Credit cards provide the illusion of a richer life. Escaping debt gives you the reality.

Finally, learn to understand costs and benefits. A friend once came to the realization, using pen and paper, that his jetski cost him $300 for every hour he used it the first year. Loan interest, gas, insurance, depreciation, repairs, licenses – these things add up. And he thought it was too expensive to pay $100 per day to rent one! Consider the real costs of things, and look for a cheaper way, or at least make an honest decision that it’s worth $300 per hour to you.

Your things should be making your life better. If they aren’t, you need to start looking at them differently. Don’t let your things own you. Change your approach.
An Article On Perfectionism

June 5, 2018

What is Perfectionism? Perfectionism is defined as a meticulous drive to attain excellence. A perfectionist is one who has this characteristic.

‘Perfectionism’ is a most prevalent belief in our civilization. Notice that I used the word ‘belief’.

Everywhere in this world of ours, perfectionism is regarded as good and desirable while imperfection is deem as bad or negative. Everybody wants everybody else to be perfect. Bosses want their employees to be flawless on the job. Parents want their kids to be the best. Perfectionists want their work and themselves to be perfect.

Since it is so strongly regarded as being positive, is Perfectionism really an absolute or universal value? In my opinion, it is not so.
To me, it is relative and is born of human conception. Perfection is an idea. It is an idea of a perceived ideal state of affair. However, things are the way they are. For every circumstances, the truth is what is at each instance. Perfection and imperfection are therefore merely attached values.

I am not suggesting that perfectionism is not good. I am suggesting that perhaps perfectionism can cast a controlling net over our expression of happiness. One can reach the required goal with or without being a perfectionist. To be a perfectionist, on the other hand, leave very little room for one to accept and love oneself unconditionally when a desired goal is not met. And when our desires are not met, we feel unhappy or cannot be fully satisfied. However, the truth is we only have each moment of the Present Moment to live in. By being perfectionist, our mind will be forever planning and thinking about the future or lamenting about what went wrong in the past. Because of these tendencies, many perfectionists are unable to feel satisfaction because in their perception they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling of contentment.

From this, we can see a paradox of life. That is:

“How can one have perfect peace, self-love and joy when one is a perfectionist? “