Manhardeep Singh is an India-based bestselling author and graphologist. With a passion for self-help literature, he has penned the book 12 Laws of the Universe, alongside other notable titles in his 12 Laws Series, including 12 Laws of Life, 12 Laws of Karma, and 12 Laws of Being Human.
Manhardeep’s writing is characterized by its insightful exploration of universal principles that guide personal growth and transformation. He believes in empowering readers to unlock their potential through understanding the laws that govern their lives.
The 1980’s business culture in the USA and internationally put a considerable emphasis on personal reward on the basis that highly motivated individuals could transform organisations and societies. The extreme example in film was Gordon Gekko in Wall Street stating that greed was good. The 90’s, however, have seen companies traumatised and bankrupted by the inappropriate use of remuneration as a motivator. Yet major corporate successes have been built on reward based remuneration systems. Phones4U recently and Allied Dunbar in the financial services market is an earlier example.
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The notorious Barings Bank had individual traders on bonuses in the millions yet in the long term these motivated individuals were not fulfilling the company’s objectives. Moreover even when an individual’s reward system is based on entirely appropriate performance indicators, resulting in the organisation’s success and he or she is rewarded, there may still be problems arising from the large differential between salaries of senior people and those of middle management. A payment system that depresses or demotivates 10 people for every one it motivates may not be the best for the organisation.
Wise organisations are therefore trying to reward and motivate all staff so that staff act energetically to further the corporation’s interests both short and long term and feel they have been treated fairly. However there must be properly in place the link between the items on which they are being rewarded and the actions they are able to take to influence the desired outcome.
• It is reasonable for the individual manager to act in his or her own interests. • Managers work for people not organisations and want to please the superiors closest to them, or failing that, their peer group. • Managers want to achieve and will be attracted to those tasks at which they know they can succeed, usually favouring the short term at the expense of the long term.
The clear implication is that an organisation should lay some groundwork before relying on a remuneration structure to change performance and behaviour. In other words the management and organisation system must be in balance with the remuneration system.
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There are 5 major pre-conditions to the installation of an effective reward structure.
Measurement: “If you don’t measure it you won’t get it”. There are various measurement systems of which Balanced Scorecard, which sets multiple objectives and is used by Tesco, is perhaps the best known.
Monitoring: If the performance measures are not monitored properly or only monitored in a review at the year end, it can give the manager signals that they don’t really matter or, worse still, that failure is acceptable providing all the managers fail together.
Control of the tools for the job: The organisation must ensure that the individual is not over dependent on factors outside his control to achieve the performance measures set out (this is the ‘how’ part of the equation).
Consistency: Ensuring that short term organisational factors don’t over-influence managers or drive them from their real objective. The organisation must also ensure that its own design (be it bureaucratic or loose) is appropriate to what is being asked of managers.
Reward and strategy in line: An organisation’s achieving a clear strategy is not an event that will take place in the future; it is a journey. A remuneration system can be put into an organisation even when it has a relatively muddled strategy providing that organisational and management disputes are resolved by reference to strategy and the “balanced score card”. Only then will there be pressure on the organisation to refine its strategy, structure and remuneration systems.
Based on these 5 pre conditions, there is a checklist of 10 factors that the effective remuneration and reward structure must achieve:
Support the business strategy
Encourage the desired behaviour
Reward relevant performance
Be fair
Be substantial
Be tax efficient
Be timely (The reward must take place close to the achievement)
Incorporate non financial rewards (Recognition can be as important as cash)
Be firm (A bonus lost through missing target should not be recoverable whereas a salary increase should only be delayed until target is reached)
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For decades, every summer, welcoming his scholarship players, Alabama coaching legend, Paul “Bear” Bryant, asked: “Have you called your folks to thank them? No one ever got to this level of excellence in football without the help of others.”
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Bryant didn’t just appreciate the importance of other people in the development of a young athlete; he wanted the athletes to appreciate it too. Such appreciation is also a lesson in leadership. Nobody becomes a successful leader unless others want you to be; you need help; and part of your growth as a leader is to recognize and show appreciation for that help.
But you’ll give your leadership and ultimately your career a real boost by extending your appreciation not just to the people you like and who are on your side but also to the people you may dislike: the difficult people in your life, those people who for right or wrong reasons cause you grief.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with them is to appreciate them. I mean truly appreciate them. When you do, you may find that you are dealing with them in surprisingly productive ways.
The word “appreciation” comes from a Latin root meaning “to apprehend the value.” In other words, your appreciation of difficult people must be centered on your genuine understanding of the value they offer you and your organization.
You are not just understanding their point of view. You are actually appreciating it; and you are using that appreciation as a tool to get more results, more results than if the difficult people had not entered your life. Otherwise, your appreciation, at least as far as leadership is concerned, is a waste of time.
Here’s a four step process to make appreciation a results-generator.
(1) Team up. To get appreciation rolling, know that you must be a team, you and the difficult person, in the development of it. Mind you, you’re not trying to get the difficult person to appreciate you. You have little control over the other’s appreciation. You do, however, have control over yours. So, focus on cultivating yours. That cultivation happens only in a relationship — a team relationship with the other person, not necessarily a personal relationship. In a team-relationship, you don’t have to like the other person. You simply have to work with them — actively and wholeheartedly, irrespective of personal feelings. And the goal of your team is to forge out of the difficulties you’re having with one another a leadership process that achieves results.
(2) Identify. When you’re dealing with a difficult person, you’re often entangled in strong emotions. The first thing to do is, with the person’s help in a face-to-face meeting, get at the precise causes of the difficulties. Try to remove yourself from your emotional entanglements. “Break down” what’s happening the way football coaches break down the plays of opposing teams studying game films. This breaking down is a collaborative process, and it should go like this: First, have the person describe the exact moments when you were having trouble with each other. It’s important to keep focused simply on the physical facts of those moments. What were the specific actions and words that triggered the emotions? When the person gives h/her side of the story then and only then can you give yours. Only when both of you are clear as to those moments and agree on what took place can you start to talk with each other about your feelings connected to those moments of physical action.
For instance, that person may contend you are not listening to what h/she says to you. Have the person describe the exact moment when you were not listening. Where were you? What was being said? Precisely, what gave that person that impression?
(3) Agree. You and the person must agree on what is important in regard to the difficulties you are having. A gap between what you think is important and what the other person thinks must be closed. The test in closing it is results. Does the difficulty you are having with the person go right to the heart of the results you need to achieve?
The person says you don’t listen. Do you agree? Is that person’s perception important? Until you can come to agreement as to whether you were or were not listening and the importance of that, you’ll continue to have difficulties. Which means you won’t be able to go to the next, and most important, step.
(4)Transform. Transform the specific into a results process, a process that will get you increases in results. Without such a process, the previous steps are useless. For instance, let’s say you both come to an agreement that you need to be more attentive when the person is speaking. Then, you might develop a “listening process.” Such a process may involve applying “continuers.” This is a process taught in medical schools to help overbearing doctors be more empathetic with their patients. When interacting with patients, the doctors are taught to say, “uh huh” three times when the other person is talking before saying a word.
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Of course, “continuers” are one of many listening processes you can draw on. And clearly, “not listening” is one of many problems one might have with the people you lead. Whatever process you come upon in whatever difficulty you are having with people, that process must achieve specific increases in results — more results than if you had not used the process.
As for the “not listening” example: You may pick out one actionable item from what was being said that can lead to results increases. I worked with a leader who did this. Several people he led accused him of ignoring them, and consequently those people were bucking his leadership. They all sat down around a conference table and went through this four-step process. They developed a process to actively and systematically listen to one another and come to agreement on what was spoken and what was heard. Then they selected actionable particulars that came out of their communication. They made sure they followed through on implementing those particulars to achieve increases in hard, measured results.
Like the poor, the people who cause us difficulties will always be with us. No matter how experienced and successful you are as a leader, difficult people will always be lined up outside your door, wanting into your life. Moreover, there are probably a lot of them inside the door too, trying to cut you down to size, thwart your plans, besmirch your reputation.
Instead of clashing with them or avoiding them, try appreciating them. When you use this process, you may find that they’re not liabilities but assets.
I’m sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself. But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside?
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Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.
When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.
When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.
Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you. Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She’s four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you’re always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).
All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention. Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her “Shut up!”. You say “I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don’t have time for you!”
How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she’s getting aggressive from time to time. You think you’re angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She’s sad and angry because you don’t care about her! You act as if she doesn’t exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn’t exist. This means trying to live as if WE don’t exist.
The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one’s self. Nothing is worse than this!
How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child “Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you”? Awful isn’t it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.
This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :”It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t want to take care of me, I’m not worth it”, and she will get depressed.
Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents. It is nobody’s fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When, after getting depressed things still don’t change, there’s one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.
You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?
First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : “What happens, my darling?” Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : “Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.” Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : “I understand”. These words are very important, because most of the time we don’t feel very “normal” having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you.” Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :” What do you need?” Whatever the Child answers, you say : “We will ask this of your Father”.
And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child’s desires in the world.
When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings (“I understand you’re afraid…”) and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’t have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.
Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself. It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
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Thoughts of failing can make it very hard on our life. We will find that sometimes this is all that we think about. Getting past the thoughts of failure and moving on to better and more exciting things is very important. We need to worry about what we are doing to keep the thoughts of failure out of our life so that we can be more productive with everything that we do.
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When you are feeling negative, you are going to see that it can wear your body down. You may find that when your emotions take over your life, they left you behind, picking up the pieces that it left. You need to figure out a plan that will help you be more productive and enjoy life how you should.
Getting out there and making friends is one way to keep failure out of your mind. You should work hard at relationships and finding more friends to have as your support system. Making new friends can be a great way to give you the feeling of accomplishment and you will not have to worry so much about failing.
Exercising the body will help to exercise the mind. Getting out there and moving your body so that you can stay fit and healthy is one way to eliminate the bad feelings and move on with the good ones. Keep yourself in shape and ready for the changes that you need to make in your life.
If you have people in your life that bring you down and persuade you to make bad choices, think about distancing yourself from them. You need to work hard at being your own person and making your own choices that will not lead you to failure. It is easy to get caught up in the busy world of today and to let others help us with certain things, but we have to be responsible for the actions that we make.
Being upbeat and happy will help to keep you in a better and more motivated mood. Having a good and positive relationship with your friends and family members will also help you be more productive and keep the negative feelings from destroying your life. Keeping in mind that you are successful and achieving goals will also help to keep the destructive behavior away, too.
As much as we may try to avoid failure, it is going to happen from time to time. There is just no way to avoid it all together. When failure does happen, we need to pick ourselves up and get it together. We should work on the things that we need to get better at and figure out a plan that will give us positive outlooks on life. Keeping the bad out and putting the good in will be a great way to avoid failure and to be more productive with all that we do.
Talking to our friends and using what they have to say to keep us motivated to be more successful can help us fight off the feelings of failure and all that goes along with it. Trying to be perfect is, of course, not going to happen, but with some practice and the right way of thinking, we can be more productive and successful people. This is going to be a great way to show others we are not worried about failure and that we are improving on our life skills.
There are a lot of ways that you can make yourself become more confident, but you should confidence by accepting yourself. When you learn how to accept yourself for whom you are, then you’ll be able to benefit from all the experiences that you have. You’ll need to keep in mind that there is a thin line between confidence and cockiness. The moment that you go overboard on confidence, you just end up looking like a jerk. You’ll need to learn how to carry yourself to express confidence to others, but also carry yourself in a manner that expresses to others that you a little humble.
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Signs of Self-Confidence
The following are tips on how you can express yourself to seem confident, but also have the perfect balance between confidence and arrogance. First, you need to admit when you are wrong. It takes a big person to admit when they have it all wrong, and it’s also a characteristic that many can envy. Many people do not have the characteristic of being honest and straight forth. Keep in mind that if you can do the crime, you can do the time. If you mess up at work, big the better person and (with confidence) admit to the fault. This will end up giving you major points at the job. Also, you need to learn how to be flexible with change. Obviously, you can’t predict everything, but you can take some extra measure to prepare yourself for changes. When you are prepared for something, you can speak with great confidence.
You will also want to change your attitude. Every time that you feel like saying something negative or when you have to report some negative news, you might think about how you say things. When you report a negative positively, people are more likely to respond to you positively. If you lose your cool, you’ll never find the confidence or get control of any board room.
Another thing that will affect your confidence is how you dress. If you are dressed for a board meeting in your pajamas, then you are dressed to sit back and listen. If you walk into the board meeting with all intentions of showing your support for a cause, then you need to dress for success. Your attire will change how you approach the meeting and also how you present yourself.
If you would like to show someone that you are confident, then you’ll need to check your body language. You’ll need to consider that speaking very fast or slow will show your co-workers that you are everything but confident. You also want to go into the meetings and shake everyone’s hand firmly. This will show that you can hold your own. You’ll need to keep things light and upbeat, even when things at its worst. You’ll also notice that a magnificent smile will do a lot for your confidence too.
Many people have to fake it for a while, but once they get comfortable with those in the room and also those who they are presenting to, then the confidence will flow naturally. If you give yourself a little pep talk right before you make a presentation, you will notice that you’ll have more than enough confidence to get you through the entire presentation and then some.
It is very important that you show others you are confident. When you show others it is important to you, then you are more likely to win the hearts of everyone. This is very important to keep in mind when it comes to persuade speeches. You need to have the passion and the confidence in order to convince others to do so.
Words are just a part of our lives, aren’t they? Why do we need to think about them? When I teach people self-hypnosis, the language they use in self-hypnosis sessions is very important. What’s more, the kind of language used in self-hypnosis can be used outside of formal self-hypnosis too, to enhance your communication with yourself at all times.
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The words that you use in and out of self-hypnosis carry a lot of connotation and a lot of deeper meanings for you, as they do for everyone. What one word means to one person can mean something completely different to another.
Think about an occasion in your life that was a wonderful occasion; maybe a happy birthday, the birth of a child, a wedding or a celebration, maybe a time when you achieved something, when you succeeded, or maybe a time when you felt the full force of joy or love. Really think about that experience. Remember what you saw, remember and think about the sounds that you heard and think about how you know and how you knew you felt so good then. Whereabouts in your body were those good feelings? Now, as you really think about that memory and immerse yourself in it, think about the words that you would use to describe that experience.
These are what is going to elicit the most powerful response from within you when you use them in self-hypnosis sessions and when you communicate with yourself.
Have a think about these questions; what words make you feel good? Which words give you good feelings? Make a list of the words that appeal to you. You can use a thesaurus to help.
Ask yourself; how would I like to feel? Here are some good words you may like to use in your self-hypnosis or just to frequent the internal workings of your mind with: Healthy, Peace, Balance, Harmony, Relaxed, Confident, Good, Happy, Powerful, Joyful, Calm, Unison, Assured, Vibrant, Loving, Progressive, Better, Beautiful.
All a bit obvious, I know you get the idea. It is really important though that you do actually use words that have a good meaning to you and make you feel good within your self-hypnosis or just your internal dialogue.
Now, I am going to add a couple of words here for you to think about. Think about the words “more and more” and “increasingly.” These words are going to be important to create growth, power, and fluidity in your mind. Let me explain how.
Consider the sentence “as a result of achieving my ideal weight I am happy.” This is a nice way to remind yourself that achieving this particular goal, whatever it might be for you, you are happy. Great. However, we can make that more powerful by changing a rather static “happy” to “more and more happy.” I don’t know about you, but I would never want to think that I ever reached the pinnacle of happiness and could not go any further.
“Happy” is static. In order to supercharge your programmes and the way you utilise language in and out of self-hypnosis, you can mobilise the words and get them moving onwards and upwards for you. You can change “Happy” to “Happier and happier” or “more and more happy” or “increasingly happy” or “progressively more happy” or “more and more” appropriately happy. Use whatever feels right for you. Just use other words to develop and power it up.
Words to avoid: Some of these words may seem fine and feel fine to use for you. I am just giving you ideas and considerations when using these words in and out of self-hypnosis.
When communicating with yourself, my recommendation is that you consider avoiding the following words and types of words;
Words that elicit bad feelings. Words that are ambiguous. Words that are limiting, restrictive, or disempower you. Words that you are uncomfortable with.
When communicating with yourself, ask yourself these questions: Is there another phrase or word that is better? Is there a word or phrase I find more pleasing? Is there a way in which you can put your energy and power into this suggestion in a better way?
So, firstly, I want to point out some words that can elicit bad feelings: Try, can’t, won’t, don’t, should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, jealousy, temper, no, lose, will, sad, difficult, but. I want to point out a couple of these words in particular.
The word “try” sends a shudder down my back. I use this word in therapy often to ensure that people won’t do what I am asking them, for example, I might say “try to resist the urge to relax.”
When you are trying to do something, you are not doing it. You build in failure by using the word try. So just remove it from your internal communication.
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You will have heard that expression “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” Yuck. Awful stuff. It really should read “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try, and try and try and try and try and try… etc, etc.” You want to do the things you want to do, you want to achieve the things you want to achieve; you don’t want to try and do them or try and achieve them.
The word “Will” is another one to avoid if you can. Will is not actually happening, it is something you will do rather than actually are doing. It never occurs. You know, you can put almost any sentence together with the word will in and simply remove that word to make it more progressive and positive for your self-hypnosis requirements. Have a go at doing that. (I realise that there is likely to be at least one wiseguy who now uses the word as in “last will and testament” yes, very clever. I have not heard that one before.)
Here are a couple of examples: “As a result of stopping smoking, I will be healthier.” Now becomes; “As a result of stopping smoking, I am healthier.” “I will successfully achieve my goals” is transformed into “I successfully achieve my goals.” Here we have just removed it to make it more progressive. You see it is those finer distinctions that I refer to often that can really make a difference to the way you use language, and you may as well really use it more and more powerfully while you are in the state of self-hypnosis.
Lots of people tell me they want to “Lose” weight. I always tell them that no one loses when they come to see me. Think about what else you lose in life. Generally, it is things you would rather have kept, like your keys or your wallet. You lose things you want to find again. Lose has many negative connotations. Instead of losing weight, reframe it with the words “achieving and maintaining the size, shape and weight that pleases me.” This is much more progressive.
Finally, in this section, I want to mention the word “But.” We can often see this word to be negating what has come before it; I would really like to come out tonight, but I have to wash my hair. Of course, I really love you, but I need to pursue my career. I had a great time, but that guy sitting next to me was rude.
This might not always be the case for you; however, it is for you to be aware of when addressing your own unconscious mind in and out of self-hypnosis.
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Secondly, I recommend that you really do avoid using words that are putdowns. They don’t really have a place in self-hypnosis or your mind at all. Avoid the following words and words like them:
Untidy, Dirty, Smelly, Ugly, Stupid, Lazy, Hopeless, Disliked, Unkempt, Smelly, Idiot, Embarrass, Ridiculous. I know you know lots more. I don’t really like even having to write these in this article. Your internal dialogue and self-hypnosis sessions are better without these words.
This next set of words is for you to keep aware of and avoid if you feel they limit you or your programme. I am referring to words that are absolutes. These are words that have no flexibility, that are final. For example: Always, totally, closed, never, finish, impossible, definitely, completely, death, cancelled. You may, for example, state in a self-hypnosis session or tell yourself that you never smoke again. Which is fine and good for some people. However, you may have one too many glasses of sherry at Christmas and have a sneaky puff on your friend’s cigar. Now this does not make you a regular smoker again, however, it has negated the sentiments that you told yourself. It has made your internal communication to yourself less credible to you because you wrote you would never smoke again and you just did, albeit only one puff, by writing that you would never do it, you leave no flexibility and you leave no room for interpretation of particular circumstances that may arise.
That may be fine with some, just bear it in mind. I mentioned the subject earlier within the guidelines for writing programmes and that is the notion of ambiguity. With self-hypnosis and when communicating with yourself in your own mind in other ways, it is best to avoid words that are ambiguous. Words such as; Maybe, Desire, Growth, Positive, Negative, Normal, Whole.
You might well use the expression that your desire to stop smoking is increasing. Again, this sounds fine on the surface. However, do you want your desire to stop smoking to increase or your actual ability to stop smoking to increase? If you only increased your desire to stop smoking, it might become a very frustrating experience. Also, you might want to consider referring to your personal growth increasing. It could be referring to something growing on your body somewhere!
Think about the word normal. Who is to say what that is? Do you know specifically what you mean when you refer to anything as being normal? If you are going to use the word normal, I would recommend that you define what that means to you also, be specific about it or just substitute it for the word usual if you can.
Finally, on the topic of words, I would like to point out to you the use of the “Able.” It is one thing being able to do something; it is another to actually do it. If you are going to increase your ability with something, then also ensure you do it.
I realise this article has offered up many considerations so far with self-hypnosis use of language and internal dialogue. These are just that; considerations.
You can allow yourself to find the right solutions and methods for you. As you get more and more used to being in self-hypnosis or just communicating with yourself more progressively and discovering the kind of suggestions and words that have the most powerful effect for you, then you can fine tune your use of them.
Introduction Many people don’t really understand the nature of our guardian Angels. Every one of us, as long as we are in our human form, has one or more angels with us at all times. In many years of working with individuals to help them come into closer contact with their guardian Angels I have experienced that they are present for each one of us. This message from them describes what they do, why they help us, and how we can receive their gifts to the fullest extent.
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Angel Message “We are given unto you as gifts of God, gifts of Creator. We are the expression of Creator in a form that you may more easily access and experience. We are given unto you to help carry you onto God, to help carry you into the love of God, to help carry you into the expression of the love within you.
Above all, we are given unto you for the expression of your soul; the true, deep, and complete expression of your soul. We have been with you from before your birth, from before your conception, when you were a soul in the splendor of heaven. We were with you at the time that you chose what gifts you would share with others upon the earth.
Your soul in pure form is pure light, pure love, pure joy. The gifts that you have chosen to embody, and carry, and to bring into full fruition upon the earth, are those very gifts that bring you joy, wonder, and excitement. They bring you into a natural place of buoyancy, of the joy of sharing.
We amplify your ability to connect with the gifts that you carry within you. We work with you to open your willingness to experience your own gifts within, to see and know them as pure expressions of love, to hold them, both sacred and true, and pure, and yet to share them with no holding. With no reservation. With no concern of how they are accepted. We stress this last part, that you have no concern, that you have no expectation, that you have no demand upon those whom you give your gifts to.
We ask you to look upon the heavens above you, seeing the moon, the planets, the stars, the endless and infinite galaxies of stars; all of this creation revolves in order that the soul is expressed in pure and true form. All of this has been given upon you and to every soul in form.
Realize that whatever limitations of consciousness you currently carry, reality is infinite. God is infinite. Our abilities, the abilities of the Angels, are truly infinite. We withhold nothing from you. Creator withholds nothing from you in your role of true creation as a being of love, and of light, and of compassion, of caring and of devotion to what you have come upon the earth to express.
We are completely outside of your ideas of limitation of any kind. We are not limited by time, or space, or place or amount.
It is vital that you understand this. As you call upon us to assist you, there is no diminishing of our energy, of our ability, of our presence. There is no diminishing. We are given unto the people of the earth to serve, to assist, to guide, to arrange, to partner with. We have no other reason for existence. Please take this in and know that you are our full occupation. We do not have another “day job” or other responsibilities that you distract us from when you call upon us.
We wish you to know that Angels are in total service to you in your present condition and your present level of consciousness. In the exact moment of your life, you find yourself in right now. We carry no judgments. We carry no criticisms. We carry not even expectations for you. We make no decisions about when to help you and when not to help you. We have no free will in this matter. That is not our role. We are not created in a configuration of choice or judgment. We are beyond any concept of judgment.
We express the will of Creator in a form and in a manner that you can easily connect with, that you can access for all that you need in the present moment. This remains true moment to moment throughout your lifetime. We never evaluate you are good or bad. We never give or withhold based upon any concept of good or bad. There is no withholding of any kind within our realm. All we do is give infinitely, completely, eternally to you. Please realize as deeply as you are able that the grace we carry to you, the gifts we carry to you, the love and the loving presence we carry to you is not dependent upon your behavior. It is not dependent upon your past. It is not dependent upon you doing anything in this moment, other than receiving it.
We shine upon you as the sun shines upon every plant, every tree, every shrub, withholding nothing. The sun does not judge this plant worthy and this plant unworthy and shine only upon one. We wish you to fully and completely realize that our love is infinite, our gifts are infinite, our presence is infinite and is given to you exactly as you are in this moment. There is nothing that you need do to receive this. There is nothing you need accomplish to receive this. There is no redemption you need to achieve to receive this. There is nothing you need do except to attain the consciousness of receiving.
And this, which we have just labeled attainment, is nothing more than merely letting go of all beliefs of limitation, lack, critical evaluation, and judgment. For, while we are not free will beings and are given completely unto you, you, however, are a free will being.
It is very important that you realize that your choices are fully honored. Your choices are completely respected. We do not and cannot force anything upon you. Even a blessing that is so important for you, so dear to your heart and so dear to your soul can only be received by you if you allow it.
We wish you to realize that for you to experience receiving our assistance and our help you must choose this for yourself, you must invoke this within yourself, you must milk your own willingness to receive. You must ask to receive. You must be willing to receive. And yet this is all you need do, nothing more than this.”
By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible.
Italian saying
If you are serious about achieving a more meaningful life, then you’ll need a new perspective for viewing your life and your career. The following exercise is a new method for going through your day and your week. It’s a new sense of being alive, being responsible, being at choice, and being the architect in your life.
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Tomorrow, you’ll be totally conscious about everything you do, see, say, feel, smell, taste, and who you are being. Use your notebook, journal or computer file to capture notes, thoughts, and insights.
Exercise: A Totally Conscious Day
Notice everything! Write down your observations using 1-2 words or several sentences. There is no wrong or right way to do it.
As soon as you wake up, notice the first thoughts that enter your mind. Write them down. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Really look! Smile. Spend a minute looking into your eyes. Smile goodbye. Write down feelings or thoughts you experienced.
As you get ready for work, notice everything: the rhythm of brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, the motion your arm makes as you stroke on your makeup, etc. Write down any thoughts or describe any pictures that come to mind.
On your way to work, notice your surroundings. What are the buildings like? What does your route to work smell like? Can you smell the restaurants, factories, etc? Do you smell trees in bloom? As you get closer to work, what sensations do you notice in your body? Write down every observation.
When the day is over, spend a few quiet minutes in bed reading your notes. Do you remember things you didn’t capture before? Write them down in a different color pen than your notes from earlier in the day. Finally, spend five minutes writing your impressions of what you captured and what you experienced being totally conscious.
This exercise provides a lot of perspective and insight, but you have to actually DO it, not just read the directions and say, “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it later.” It’s really important to “get clear.”
This first step is critical to your success. If you decide to become conscious, to realize what is really going on, you become aware of what it is that you really want. We often become excited after participating in a workshop, attending a seminar or reading a book. We think, “Oh, this is it. This is the thing that’s going to change my life.” However, we don’t make the decision to start, to take action. Or we may think that by simply reading a book, it will somehow magically change our lives: “The information is going to float over me and my life is going to be different.”
When the pebble in our shoe bugs us enough, we pick up a book or attend a seminar. We briefly take off our shoe. We enjoy the comfort of the idea of not traveling with the pebble in our shoe anymore.
When the seminar or book is finished, we put our shoe back on over the pebble. Then we start our journey again. We feel a little lighter and more enthusiastic, because of encountering new material. So the pebble is barely noticeable. However, we never made a decision a conscious choice to remove the pebble or get shoes that keep the pebble from falling back in again.
We never really get started.
Whether you know what you want to do or no longer want that quiet, nag pebble in your shoe, the realization that you need to make a change and take action is a great place to be. When you decide to move forward, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Today, you are finally awake.
Manhardeep Singh 