• Faithful Emotions

    The sad clown attracts us and evokes a feeling of sadness and compassion. Have you ever noticed that the sadness and compassion really feels like it is for you? Often we live our suppressed emotional experiences through some other external situation, mainly entertainment. Once we’re in a safe environment, it’s okay to let it out. Except, you’ve buried so many emotions, you’re not sure what is left unexpressed. It can derail you at any time, upsetting your equilibrium, setting the waterworks at the drop of a hat, and blazing the rage with a tiny spark.

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    Consider a new way of being in this world; a way that allows the expression and understanding of your emotions. Imagine being present for others who are enmeshed in difficult times, barely coping to keep their emotions in check. What healing can occur! What strength will be gained! What friendship and loyalty will be developed! What team support will be developed! What courage will be found!

    • If we’re human, then what does it mean to be human?
    • If we’re spirit, then what does it mean to be spirit?
    • If we’re emotions, then what does it mean to be feelings?
    • If we’re the mind, then what does it mean to be thoughts?
    • If we’re soul, then what does it mean to be soulful?

    I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical, human experience. Within that context, we experience many things on many levels. Could it be that this is what it means to be a multi-dimensional being? I’m not interested in empirical evidence and succinct clarity; I’m interested in the experience of being and life. The complexity of existence and the human entity absolutely requires an element of faith and trust in an inner core that cannot be defined by science.

  • What is Happiness? Can it Be Defined?

    Happiness is one of the most commonly used words. We all say – the children look so happy. I am very happy today. You don’t look happy. Any reason? How to make a happy world? How to avoid sad feelings and feel happy? Which pill can help us? The discussion about happiness is endless. Does science give a common definition of happiness? General answers are available that say that happiness is a state when one feels good, elated, contented, good etc. Is happiness a life long gift or an emotion experienced for a short time.

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    If I win a lottery, I become happy. As I spend all the money, I become unhappy again. When you call me a good person, I feel happy and when you curse me, I feel very unhappy. If I look at the dead body of my old friend, I feel unhappy and when I look at laughing faces of children I feel happy. We have no control. Outside forces and events control our emotions. We are all toys. That has no free will. This is difficult to believe but true.

    Let us find out what is not happiness. Low self esteem, feelings of despondency, sadness, guilt, helplessness, frustration, low interest, uncertainty, and all such negative emotions are not happy emotions. They rather make us unhappy. Now let us talk of what is happiness? Feeling good, cheerful outlook, positive thoughts, winning attitudes, satisfied living, enjoyment, and all such emotions that make us feel good are happy feelings.

    Is happiness same for all of us? If I give a certain amount to few people, some may become very happy and some may become angry and some will not care either way. Am I making myself clear? So happiness is not something that we feel in equal measure. I may be very happy when I watch the star lit night, but you may enjoy only the bright sunshine. So each one of us has his/her own happiness.

    Some of us are happy when we get a large amount of money, some when they can do lot of creative work, some when they can make others feel good and so on. All of us have our unique set of values and desires. We ourselves many times do not know about them. It becomes difficult therefore to know how to keep others happy and this ignorance causes most of inter-personal problems. But these differences in our emotional reactions make us human beings; otherwise we are no different than animals.

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  • 3 Simple Secrets to Manage Stress

    Stress can be caused by a number of situational factors, but if you find you have constant stress in your life on a regular basis, it could be due to your own personality traits. Fortunately, these traits can be changed with three simple strategies to manage stress.

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    First, consider whether or not you are prone to perfectionism. Overly critical parents or teachers during your youth may have caused you to strive for complete perfectionism, which is not necessarily a good thing. Most perfectionists are frustrated and have high stress levels. Many are procrastinators because of the overwhelming effort it takes to do something perfectly. Of course, some professions demand perfectionism, such as surgeons and rocket scientists, but for most of us, perfectionism is misdirected energy.

    Instead of demanding perfectionism from yourself and others, learn to focus your energy and leave well enough alone. Consider whether a task, job or action can be considered “good enough” without the need to be perfect. This strategy will remove a great deal of pressure off your shoulders and lower your overall stress level throughout your life.

    Next, practice letting go. Learning to let go is more of an art than a science, and it’s best practiced in small, manageable steps. Again, if you have a tendency towards perfectionism, don’t expect yourself to change (or be perfect and being not-perfect) overnight. Give yourself some space, and start with baby steps, gradually working your way towards being more relaxed.

    If you are a perfectionist in most areas of your life, take inventory of your life and see where you can afford not to be perfect. For example, maybe the laundry can be folded a little sloppier than usual, and maybe the garden doesn’t have to be completely free of weeds at all times. Recognize that certain tasks require more attention to detail than others, and use good judgment in determining what areas of your life can handle your “letting go.” The less you feel you need to control completely, the more stress you can remove from your life.

    Finally, get yourself centered. This doesn’t mean you have to take yoga five days per week or meditate for an hour a day, but it does mean you have take some time to unwind. Make a list of five ways you can relax on a weekly or daily basis and post the list somewhere you can see it regularly. Do whatever helps you unwind–grab a glass of wine after work with a few friends, read a book, take a bubble bath, go for a walk outside, etc.

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    If your life is supremely hectic, you may be able to unwind by simply getting five quiet minutes alone once a day. Whatever it takes for you to find a quiet place and unwind is necessary to relieve stress and return to a normal state. These three strategies can help you manage stress, focus your energy and get back on the path to success.

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  • It’s Not Your Fault

    Have you ever wondered what’s really holding you back from achieving all your dreams and making the money you really want to make?

    Well, worry no more. It’s not your fault. The latest research of the most advanced information on the human brain and its effects on our success uncovers truly revolutionary insight.

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    Here are just a few of the newest neuro-scientific discoveries that are blowing away scientists:

    1. It is now known that humans think on 6 different levels at once, yet only one sixth of it is at a conscious level.

    This means that 83% of the time you are acting automatically at a non-conscious level. This explains why just making a decision is nowhere nearly enough if you want to improve any of your results. You must re-train your brain if you want to achieve more. This is also why diets don’t work.

    2. Another great discovery is that non-conscious brain cells (neurons) can detect and pick up information up to 800 times faster than conscious neurons. The good news is that you can now train these faster brain cells to work for you, not against you. This is absolutely using your real power and not just 17% of your real abilities.

    3. A third great discovery has to do with your Amygdala. This part of the brain has been conditioned at a very young age by your parents, teachers and the events in your life.

    The Amygdala doesn’t like change and will release neuro-transmitters anytime you try to change something in your life. Any deviation from what is your norm right now sets this off and basically causes you to revert back to your old patterns of thoughts and behaviors. This explains why most people have a hard time leaving a job or relationship they aren’t totally happy with.

    It also explains why people stay at the same income bracket year after year. It may not be what they want, but it’s what they are accustomed to and conditioned to expect.

    So if you wondered what was holding you back from achieving all your dreams and making the money, don’t worry. It’s not your fault.

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  • Setting Effective Goals at Work

    It has been five years since you’ve set foot on your office workplace that was painted in yellow before, but now it is blue. For five years, you have been typing away your work on the same spot, but now on a different chair and computer. The young lady sitting next to your cubicle is now pregnant; you even had a crush on her before, but you just don’t have the courage to say how you feel for her.

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    Everything, for the last five years has changed. Even the way your boss smiles at you: before it was his trademark grin, now it is more of a grimace. The only thing left unchanged is your work position.

    It’s time to set realistic goals for yourself. If you want to be in your dream work position in a salary that you could actually boast of, set goals and try to achieve them within a particular frame of time. These goals must be realistic within your capabilities and resources.

    It won’t matter if you are a self-employed or a company employee, you must set goals on where you want to be in a year or five years from now. Aiming at a specific position and working towards that target would pave the way for a brighter future and a more fruitful life.

    1. Know your target position very well

    In setting work goals, know that there is no better way to be able to adjust better than to be aware of the underlining responsibilities of a target position. Ask your colleagues about the complaints or rewards of the target position so you can prepare yourself in the future.

    Remember to be discreet for they might be gunning for it too.

    2. The objectives should be realistic

    Setting work goals should be in line with your present work situation. It should be attainable and within reach in as much as short a time as possible.

    If you are eyeing for a managerial position when you are barely a year from work, think it over. Although it is possible, realistically speaking, it can’t be attained. Don’t brag about in your entire department that you could actually be the youngest employee to be a manager due to sheer “talent.” Your employer might sack you for daydreaming too much.

    3. Gauge your competency

    Know your strength and capabilities. As Socrates had put it, “Know thyself.” Only when you are sure of your strength and capabilities that you could actually gauge yourself with competitors.

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    4. Single-out and note non-bias opinions

    Positive or negative, opinions speak a lot about you. Feedback from outside sources is always worthy of your attention and is a sure key to your success.

    5. Stay on focus

    Once you have set your target, every minute and every effort that you make should be spent effectively towards reaching this target.

    6. Contentment is the key

    Remember that whenever you have succeeded in reaching a goal, you must be content with it and avoid the desire to make bigger targets outright when you have yet to prove yourself.

    Learn to control your ego and retract your moves. You have to rethink the next goal over carefully. Remember that a job environment is always fluid and therefore careful planning is very important.

    7. Refrain from envy

    This reminder is closely associated to the previous advice. If you teach yourself contentment, it should be heartfelt.

    Never look up at your colleague who might have gotten a higher position and say to yourself that you have failed.

    Remember that the present work goal that you have reached is just another step higher on the ladder. There would be more promising opportunities to come your way.

    8. Monitor your progress

    Monitor your progress. In setting work goals, take corrective measures to be sure that you are on the right track. If you have to retract your steps just to fix an impending problem, do it. You would be surprised of the rewards afterwards.

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  • Brief Overview of Anxiety Disorders

    These debilitating episodes are more likely to occur during times of high stress.

    It’s also common for symptoms of clinical depression to be present in people with anxiety disorders.

    Treatment includes behavioral therapy, lifestyle changes and medications. Sometimes a combination of all three is needed. Occasionally, a change in
    lifestyle is all that is needed.

    Mainstream treatment generally consists of a combination of prescription medications and referral to a cognitive behavioral therapist. This treatment
    method is often met with controversy.

    Some studies show this combination is more effective than either method alone, while other studies have shown that the majority of patients gain more benefits from the medications and very little from the behavioral treatments.

    The best treatment may depend on the genetics of the individual sufferer as well as environmental factors. Working closely with a counselor, psychiatrist or therapist will aid in determining the best treatment methods.

  • Are You Free of Panic Attacks?

    You may not realize it, but you may suffer from something that can take over your whole world if you let it. You’ll recognize the symptoms, but you’ll have no idea what’s behind them.

    Panic attacks are debilitating. One moment, you’re living your day to day lifestyle and the next, you find yourself paralyzed with the feeling that you’ve lost all control. You worry about the possibility of something happening to you. It all comes on so quickly and unexpected, that you’re blown away and the only thing you want to do is go right back home.

    While they can be caused by a number of things – heredity, biological forces, even exaggerated thinking – the main culprit is usually stress. As stress plays such a huge factor in our day to day lives, we don’t realize just how profoundly we’re affected until something highly stressful approaches and we’re struck with a panic attack, afraid of absolutely everything that may come our way. Finding a proper stress relief is crucial in order to help limit the number of panic attacks a person has at any given point in their life. If stress is controlled before panic and anxiety set in, there is a better likelihood of being able to stop panic attacks before they start.

    The symptoms of a panic attack are obvious enough: the rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, the feeling of dizziness and dread, trembling, sudden chills,and the pins and needles feeling in your fingers and toes are only a few of many symptoms. In any given year, there millions of people who experience a panic attack – some of which experience repeated panic attacks.

    The best course of action for panic attacks would be to talk to your doctor, who can prescribe medications and forms of therapy to assist with the treatment of those feelings of panic. Only your doctor would know the treatment that is best for you. While a panic attack may leave you feeling the need to hide and can feel as though it controls every aspect of your life, it doesn’t have to. With proper treatment and reduced stress, you can reduce the number of panic attacks you have, and can even eliminate them! A happy, healthy life is once again within your reach.

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  • How to Regain Your Lost Self-Confidence

    Nobody can hurt you without your consent

    There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that “Nobody can hurt you without your consent.” The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that YOU let the problem create on you. In life, pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

    There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

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    The following ways would help you do just that.

    Look at the brighter side

    If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world. Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude. Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

    Stop comparing yourself with other people

    When we have a problem we always question God – “Oh, God, why me?” Certainly God gave you a lot of rewards as well. Did you then get up and ask God -“Oh God, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember God when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves. Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering. This will only frustrate you further.

    Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “NO”. A “NO” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “NO” actually takes you closer to a “YES.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take the an occasional no in stride.

    Are you standing in your own way

    You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements.

    Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy-editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

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  • Developing Leadership Skills

    The first area that we look at is that of Personal Attributes. This is a blend of knowledge, expertise, and competencies, encapsulated in the approach, the behaviour, of the leader. In organisations of all sizes and in all sectors, public and private, these characteristics are key to effective leadership. The essential personal attributes are as follows.

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    Behaving Ethically, by: learning about the ethical issues and concerns that impact on your business sector; adopting a balanced, open-minded approach to the ethical concerns of others; considering the ethical issues and implications of all personal actions and organisational activity; raising and discussing ethical issues before proposing or agreeing to decisions; resisting pressures from the organisation or its partners to achieve objectives by unethical means.

    Thinking Strategically, by: learning and understanding how the different functions, physical divisions, and layers, of the organisation should work together: understanding the complexities of, and the changes happening in, the external environment, and considering how the organisation can best respond the these; understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the organisation, and the opportunities and threats facing it; understanding how the strategic objectives are influenced by all the current and forecast influences that will impact on the organisation; understanding that the operational objectives and targets must be in line with and support the strategic objectives of the organisation; being aware of and responding to the behaviour of current and potential competitors.

    Supporting Corporate Goals, by: helping to create and communicate a vision which can be understood and supported by people at all levels; helping others to understand and contribute to the strategic goals; giving visible personal support to the strategic direction and specific goals set by the organisation.

    Communicating Effectively, by: being responsive to messages and signals from the internal and external environments; making effective use of communication channels from and to all levels within the organisation; pro-actively encourage the exchange of information within the organisation, and amongst suppliers, customers and partners; listening to others, including those with opposing views, carefully and thoughtfully; selecting personal communication styles that are appropriate to the different situations and audiences.

    Gathering Information, by: establishing multiple channels and networks which generate a constant flow of information, from within and outside the organisation; regularly and consistently gathering, analysing, challenging, and using the information gathered.

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    Making Decisions, by: establishing a consistent approach to the analysis of information; drawing on personal experience and knowledge to identify current and potential problems; consider a range of solutions before selecting the final one; ensuring that the selected decision is feasible, achievable, and affordable; considering the impact of the decision on all stakeholders, at all levels, before approving implementation.

    Developing Effective Teams, by: appreciating the contribution of others, at all levels in the organisation; ensuring that individuals and teams are kept informed of plans, developments and issues that will affect them; ensuring that individual and team development schemes are given appropriate priority; providing personal support for the implementation and maintenance of development activities for individuals and teams at all levels.

    Behaving Assertively, by: understanding and responding to personal roles and responsibilities; adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; taking personal responsibility for decisions and actions; being properly prepared for involvement in activities and events; being confident and professional in dealing with change and challenges; refusing unreasonable demands; defending and protecting individuals and teams from unfair or discriminatory actions; remaining professional in manner at all times.

    Concentrating On Results, by: contributing to the establishment of an organisational culture that demands high standards and high levels of performance; focusing on objectives and planned outcomes, at all times; dealing with issues and problems when they arise; planning and scheduling personal work and the work of others in ways which make best use of available resources; delegating appropriately; giving personal attention to the critical issues and events.

    Managing Yourself, by: reflecting regularly on personal performance and progress; pro-actively asking for feedback on personal performance; changing personal behaviour in the light of feedback received; being responsible for your own personal development needs.

    Presenting a Positive Image, by: adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; behaving in a professional manner at all times; being open-minded and responsive to the needs of others; visibly working towards personal and career development goals; adopting an ethical approach to all personal and organisational activity; being supportive to colleagues; demonstrating fairness and integrity at all times.

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    In Summary: these essential attributes are many, and difficult to maintain consistently, but they are the attributes needed by, and expected of, our business leaders. The size of the organisation, the business sector, whether public or private, is of no consequence. The leaders of all organisations should be role models for others, be visible champions of high standards of professional and ethical behaviour, be leaders who others in their organisations can be proud of, and be leaders that competitors are envious of. Not many of these characteristics are imbued in our leaders by default. They have to be learned, can be learned, and should then be continuously developed and enhanced. With these personal attributes in place, and being demonstrated in behaviour and actions, business leaders will be more effective and more successful.

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  • Inspiration

    What does the word inspiration mean? Let’s look at the word and break it into two parts: “in” and “Spirit.” To live an inspired life, then, means to be “in Spirit” all the time – to be in tune with the magnificent presence of the Higher Self within you. Where in effect, the mind is open to everything, and attached to nothing. We are all derived from an organizing intelligence no matter what religion, nationality, or belief system, that divine spark resides within everyone even if the person is not currently aware of it.

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    Therefore, this organizing intelligence is the place from which we all derive inspiration – in –spirit. An inspired life is finding a way to live in harmony with the divine intelligence with every thought you have. To live at all times in spirit and feeling yourself when you are disconnected from spirit. The key is being in touch with that divine source within which is inspiration. Living day in and day out, watching every thought and knowing that you have left spirit when you have a thought that does not include everyone – when you become ego centered.

    Being inspired is about changing awareness of yourself as being limited, having no luck, things never working out, etc. into realizing that you are unlimited and have the potential to create whatever you truly desire if it is in alignment with the divine within. Whatever the mind of man can conceive, the mind of man can create. You are a perfect creation of the Divine. There is absolutely nothing that you cannot create. Have a knowing that you can create and attract to yourself anything you need to create your desires.

    Living an inspired life is realizing that you came from a divine source – you are a piece of this divinity, an expression of unlimited potential. In truth, you are like what you came from – we are pieces of the divine. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings having a spiritual experience. A drop of the ocean is not the ocean, but the small drop has the same qualities and essence of .the ocean.. Since the source from which we came is love, peace, abundance, unlimited, perfect health, then we also have these qualities inherent in us as humans. It is actually an insult from which you came to think anything less.

    We came into existence from divinity but somehow got separated from our source and developed an ego. We began to follow the herd and to identify with accumulating things. Quiet your mind, meditate, and get back in touch with your Higher Self.

    When you are inspired, you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever imagined. Realize that your thoughts are energy. It’s all about what kind of thoughts and feelings we offer up to achieve our desires which are aligned with Spirit.

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