Manhardeep Singh

Are You Living The Successful Life You Want Or Something Else?

April 11, 2018

Have you wondered why you continue with life as usual, even though you are not experiencing enough happiness, and you know you want things to be different?

Your full happiness and satisfaction with life is largely based on the natural expression of yourself.

That’s great you say, so why does it seem so hard to set up my life to fully express myself the way I really want?

There are some also very natural and normal aspects of you that tend to block change. We all have the ability to change, as we desire, it’s just that we succumb to the ‘forces’ within us that seem to want things to stay as they are.

A large reason for being stuck in place, suffering from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and stress is that you do not fully understand what you are up against and how to deal with it.

Here are some of the main factors keeping you where you are.

1. Already A Success

First we need to establish that you actually are completely successful right now whether you feel like it or not. You are always successful at living; your current life experience is clear evidence of this.

Your life experience is the result of your thoughts and actions, and you are actually always thinking and doing something. Even if you call it nothing!

And every thought and action has a result, an outcome that is its evidence.

The question is, are you totally successful at the life you really want?

If not, how can you be?

The key here is to discover new thinking and behaviors that provide the outcomes you want, and replace them for what you are doing now.

You can read about what could produce the results you want, but one of the most effective ways is to model what has proven to work for others.

2. Blocking Change

Another important point to clarify is this; everything that exists is always in motion, constantly changing, and this should include you and I. But we seem to want the opposite, for everything to remain as much that same as possible.

Plus, there is a part of our natural human thought that wants to protect us and keep us safe from any form of displeasure and even disruption. This is what most call the ego, that part of our mind that helps protect our fragile self concept, our feeling, and the picture the ego holds of us.

This ego also comes into play when you are trying to change something about yourself which it senses as uncomfortable because it is unknown or may disrupt the habits already established. The ego doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

How can you override, go around or through the ego to make the changes you desire.

With this you will need to take command of your thinking manually yourself. Your ego has had free range up to this point, so expect the possibility some mental and emotional resistance.

Developing strong deeply seated compelling reasons for the changes, you will find the drive to persist as you are taking command from your ego.

When you find examples of what is effective for others you gain a confidence that bolsters your determination. It’s feels more definite knowing that what you are attempting at least has worked for others.

3. Once A Body Is In Motion . . .

Science tells us it is likely to keep in motion.

You keep doing the same things you have always done because that’s what you know how to do.

Your thought patterns, how you perceive things, and how you interpret things is all the product of years of gradual accumulation, one piece building upon another.

All that you have accumulated in your mind from your experiences is what you know, and it’s the basis of all your thought and action.

So it’s easy to see how you will likely keep operating from the same basis as you always have, because that’s what you know and what you are mentally and emotionally comfortable with.

And yes, even if you really want some things to be different, your mind will automatically keep using your history to shape your future.

It’s a lot like a mile long train barreling down the tracks at 60 miles an hour. Once it’s moving it’s hard to stop and it’s staying on the track that’s already been laid!

You will need to discover and implement new habits that better serve your desired outcomes. The tough part of this is that you will tend to keep filtering everything through your existing perceptions. This makes it tough to figure out exactly what to do when it includes things you are not familiar and experienced with.

A powerful method for determining exactly what to do is to copy people who are already successful. This way you are not stuck trying to figure it all out on your own, using only the experience and ‘tools’ you have accumulated.

4. Repeating Habits

Everything you think and do is based on habit, you can label it good or bad, but it is habitual.

If you do nothing to these self-perpetuating habits that you have accumulated, they will just keep on going and get stronger and stronger.

Habits are just a series of thoughts and actions that are tied together and automatically played like a computer program triggered by specific related circumstance.

It is normal for most people to allow them to run automatically, life would be far more complex if we always made new decisions each time something came up.

However, we usually have allowed many things to habitually occur that we are not even aware of, or think we can change.

Here the big question becomes what should you change to, when you want something different than what you now experience?

Further, you may question the validity of what you think up for new habits, as to whether they are worth your efforts and will reveal the results you want.

The example of others is the most straightforward way to find actions that have desirable results. This is how you learned most of your current thinking and behavior as you have developed up to this point. You just haven’t consciously chosen much of it.

You can determine what to actually do by looking at the desirable evidence in the life of someone successful. And now make the conscious choice about what you want in your life.

OK, so you have some ideas about the life you want to live, that’s usually the easy part.

It’s coming up with the new effective thinking and behavior that leads to the results you want that can be tricky. Particularly when all your current habits with your collected body of knowledge and experience supports what you now have, not what you want.

It will take some determination at first to take command of your thinking from your ego as it wants to keep the status quo and is protective of your comfort.

Soften your doubts and fears about change by finding proven thinking, habits and success traits.

Learning from the study of successful people supports your change efforts in a few ways:

· You will have more confidence and determination in pursuing something that you’ve seen work.

· You are not relying only on your existing body of knowledge and experience to create something new.

· Modeling others is the most natural learning method your brain already possesses.

· You now can choose what to model based on specific outcomes.

· Discover things you may not have even thought of yet.

· Fast track your growth progresses.

· Less fear knowing others can and have already done it.

· Quicker to decide and take action on something with proven results.

· Less time wasted on indecisiveness and confusion.

· What to visualize for yourself.

· Increase your self-awareness and motivation.

· Improve your positive attitude and self-confidence.

Think, what if the auto manufacturers had to re-invent the wheel with each year’s new cars?

Why do this with your life, when you can use what others have already discovered and proven!

Existing successful people are your greatest resource for what you can and should be doing on order to live the success you desire.
A Look At Different Depression Treatment Regimens

April 10, 2018

One of the most prevalent health problem in many countries around the world is depression. Indeed, researchers have concluded that a majority of people will experiencing clinical depression at some point during their lifetimes. As a result, all people should at least have a basic awareness of what different depression treatment regimens are available in the 21st century. Indeed, when it comes to depression treatment, there are a number of different options available to people afflicted with this possibly debilitating disease.

If a person is suffering from a mild, isolated case of depression, an effective depression treatment program may include more sleep, an improved diet and increased exercise. In some instances, a combination of these recourses does result in an effective depression treatment regimen.

Many people find themselves suffering through a more serious bout of depression. In such instances, a depression treatment program must include professional assistance. When consulting with a qualified health care professional, a depression treatment program that includes therapy and medication or medications is likely to be recommended.

When it comes to a depression treatment program, medications are helpful to aid in the reduction of the symptoms that commonly are associated with a depressive illness. With that said, in most cases, it is important that a depression treatment program include therapy. Therapy is an important element of a depression treatment program in many cases to assist the afflicted patient with discovering the root causes of the depressive illness with which he or she is afflicted.

In some instances, a depressive illness is so serious that a depression treatment program includes inpatient hospitalization. In most instances, a person who is hospitalized for a depressive illness will only be confined for a short period of time — for a matter of days. The goal of hospitalization as a depression treatment regimen in the 21st century is patient stabilization. The long term treatment will be conducted on an outpatient basis. Long gone are the days (in most cases) in which stabilization and intensive treatment occurs while a patient is involved in an inpatient depression treatment program.

In recent years, many mental health care professionals have again begun to advocate the use of EST (electro-shock therapy) for patients who have a more profound depressive illness. For some period of time in the 1970s and 1980s, EST as a depression treatment option was frowned upon by a wide sector of the mental health care professional community. However, in recent years, the techniques associated with EST have been refined and many doctors have come to see beneficial results in their patients who are subjected to a depression treatment regimen that includes EST. But, again, EST is utilized as a depression treatment option in only a limited number of cases in which the depression of a particular patient is severe and unabated over an extended period of time. As with depression treatment programs that include medication, patients who receive EST also participate in a course of therapy to try and discover the root causes of the depressive illness.
Help Kids Concentrate

April 9, 2018
Everyone wants their children to succeed in school. But for many kids and teens, concentration in this always-pressured, starved-for-time era can be difficult. Here are some tips for helping your son or daughter improve concentration and do better in the classroom:
- Take time for breakfast. Children who have breakfast and enough to eat during the rest of the day will be better able to concentrate in school, according to Head Start, the national child development program run by the Department of Health and Human Services.
- Introduce them to music. Playing instruments has shown to increase focus and concentration in other areas.
- Provide a supplement. One product is Focus, from the “Spray” line of sublingual sprays. Developed by doctors, Focus is a combination of homeopathic remedies that can improve concentration, support memory and help overcome apathy. It acts gently, causes no side effects and meets all FDA guidelines for good manufacturing practices.
- Seventeen-year-old Bianca attributes her first-ever “100” on an algebra exam to Focus. “It worked so well at improving my concentration while studying and taking tests, my algebra grade went from D to B,” she says. “My mom is very excited about my improvements, and my 16-year-old sister is now using the spray, too.”
- Send them to bed on time. Studies show that children and most teenagers concentrate best after about nine hours of sleep.
- Give them space. Your kids will be better able to concentrate on homework if they have a clear, uncluttered workspace. And turn off the TV; they won’t learn if they’re squeezing their homework in during commercials.
- Get them organized. The National PTA suggests helping older students organize their assignments by recording them on calendars or planners, along with due dates and dates turned in.
- Discourage “cramming.” It increases anxiety and interferes with clear thinking, according to the Department of Education. Kids do better on tests if they spread out studying over several days or weeks and can relate the information to what they already know.
A Key To Success

April 8, 2018

Emulating successful people is one key to success. Be careful, though, if you ask them for advice. Often, people don’t really know why they succeed, but they will give you as many explanations as you want anyhow. One night on the news, I saw a 100-year-old man explain that smoking a big cigar every day was one of the secrets of his longevity. It might be nice to know why he has lived so long, but I’m pretty sure we won’t learn by asking him.

Key To Success – Study Successful People

One key, then, isn’t in doing what successful people say, but rather doing what they do. This is how to learn success. Naturally you have to look closely and apply a little brainpower to see what they are really doing that is causing their success.

A successful real estate investor told me he didn’t believe in setting goals. However, watching him and listening to him, I came to realize that he knew just where he expected to be with his projects in six months. This, of course, is goal-setting – he just called the process something else.

Never stop listening to what successful people have to say, but read between the lines. Listen for insight into how they think about things, how they approach their challenges. Suppose the advice of a successful basketball player is just to practice more, but he casually mentions “I saw that going in,” after a great shot. Isn’t it time to start visualizing your shots going in?

Key To Success – Model Successful People

You won’t always know what is causing a person’s success. Internet marketers promote their websites by exchanging links, but when I first tried to exchange links with other websites, the owners didn’t respond to my emails. Then I found a simple email letter used by a successful internet marketer to get links. It sounded silly to me, and I wanted to change it, but I tried it anyhow. It worked repeatedly.

It is more important to do the right things than to understand why they are right. To also understand is great, but at first, it may be best to just copy many of the actions, attitudes and approaches of someone who is succeeding. Try to model success, even before you understand it.

As you learn more, you can drop those parts that aren’t contributing, and add elements of your own. If you model a successful parent, for example, and life with your children gets better, does it matter if you know right away which changes were the most effective? Of course not.

Is it better to understand why what you are doing is working? Certainly, but you may not ever understand why some things work, and this is okay too. It is better to have success than to explain it, so find successful people and do what they do, not what they say. It is an important key to success.
10 Common Symptoms Of Depression

April 7, 2018

Every year approximately 9.5 per cent of the American population suffers from depression. Depression is a grave illness that affects day to day life and destroys families. It is a disorder that controls the mind and its functions causing loss of appetite, sleeplessness, mood swings, and a deep sense of despair. Every year approximately 9.5 per cent of the American population suffers from depression. Depression is a grave illness that affects day to day life and destroys families. It is a disorder that controls the mind and its functions causing loss of appetite, sleeplessness, mood swings, and a deep sense of despair.

The symptoms of depression are varied and the severity changes with time. And, according to experts depression can be an inherited disorder, or caused by life threatening illnesses, or stress. Other causes are certain diseases, medicines, drugs, alcohol, or mental illnesses. Women are seen to experience depression more than men and this is attributed to hormonal swings, menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriage, pre-menopause, and post-menopause.

Common symptoms are:

1. An unshakeable sadness, anxiety, or emptiness.

2. Overwhelming hopelessness accompanied by pessimistic feelings.

3. Extreme guilt, feelings of helplessness, and no sense of self worth.

4. Loss of energy, a slowing down of metabolism, and activity levels. Being plagued by constant fatigue.

5. A sense of helplessness along with an increasing inability to focus and indecisiveness.

6. Loss of sound sleep and development of extreme insomnia.

7. Inexplicable weight loss or weight gain. Triggered by loss of appetite or eating binges.

8. Brooding and suicidal inclinations.

9. Irritability, short temper, as well as restlessness.

10. Physical afflictions like headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain for no particular reason.

If you experience any of the above along with a marked change in behavior do consult your doctor. He will give you a thorough examination to rule out physical causes for depression as well as any underlying medical problems. Then if required he will recommend that you consult a psychiatrist or psychologist.

Take matters in hand and try and erase negativity from your mind. Cut out from you life terms like exhaustion, worthlessness, and hopelessness. Change your life by setting yourself a few goals. Try and relax, meditate, and enjoy music. Start new activities that absorb your time as well as interests. Go out and meet people and participate in group activities. Avoid the company of negative people. Make up your mind to enjoy a movie, ballgame, family outing, picnic, or trek. Be positive, self confident, and have faith in yourself. Faith is itself a great healer. Decide to change your world for the better. However do follow the doctor’s advice. Treatment can include: anti-depressant medicines, psychotherapy, as well as lifestyle changes. In extreme cases electroconvulsive therapy or light therapy are prescribed.

If your depression escalates or you are suicidal, seek help from your family physician or health care provider. Do call a local health department, a community mental health center, or hospital or clinic. Someone will extend a helping hand and talk you through the crisis.
5 Quick Ways To Ease Stress, Depression & Anxiety

April 6, 2018

No ceremony with this article, let’s go straight into five quick ways that will help you find relief from stress, depression and anxiety.

1. Take regular breaks from the firing line. Working hard without regular breaks is a great way to build up stress and tension. Make sure you have at least one 15-minute break in the morning and one in the afternoon as well as at least 20 minutes for lunch. If possible, eat lunch away from your workstation. Equally, if you have a lot to deal with in your life right now, taking a day, or a weekend elsewhere – longer if you can – to get some breathing space will really help. Even just a day away from the firing line will enable you to get some distance from the problems and help you to gather your thoughts.

2. Regular exercise can help relieve stress, depression and anxiety. Exercise releases endorphins into your system and will give you a natural boost. It will also provide you with a break from brooding and dwelling upon problems and troubles – but only if you perform the right kind of exercises. Avoid: Exercises that allow you to brood (weight lifting, jogging, treadmills) and perform exercises that require your full concentration. Competitive sports such as squash, tennis, badminton and circuit training are all excellent examples. It is important that you do not brood when you exercise because although you will be benefiting physically, you are still stressing yourself mentally and the stress, depression and anxiety will worsen.

3. Stop beating yourself up. Self-deprecation is a huge part of stress, depression and anxiety. Each time you beat up on yourself, you will erode confidence and self-esteem. Never tell yourself you’re useless, worthless, stupid, hopeless, boring, ugly, and a loser. Never convince yourself that other people hate you, that others find you difficult to be around and that you’re better off being alone. You would never deem it acceptable to say such things to other people and you must deem it equally unacceptable to say them to yourself. These words and phrases are powerful and they will hurt you. Accept you’re not perfect and that you make mistakes – just like everybody else does – and cut yourself some slack. From this day, make a pact with me to never indulge self-deprecation ever again. IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

4. Isolation is another problem experienced by stress, depression and anxiety sufferers. OK, there will be times when you just want your own company. During such times, you can brood over and over again on problems and events and beat yourself up for hours on end. Not good. Instead, use isolation more positively. Occupy your mind by tackling a jigsaw puzzle, a logic problem, a crossword, read a book or perform a hobby such as painting, playing a musical instrument or whatever it is you have an interest in. In this way, isolation will help you to grow instead of causing you further pain.

5. Television, radio and newspapers can all supply you with a daily hit of negativity and help lower your mood. In the main, they concentrate on the negative side of life: crime, corruption, war, scandal and natural disasters and can give you a distorted view of reality. Not to mention the amount of image manipulation they subject you to. Give yourself a break from this negative drip feed and avoid them completely for one week. You may find, like I have, that they have no place in your life after that. Trust me, you won’t miss them.

That’s five, quick tips for you to help fight stress, depression and anxiety. Please give them a try, they’ll all help to boost your mood levels very quickly indeed.
3 Things to Look For In A Movie That Can Change Your Life

April 5, 2018

If you want to be happier and you also love movies, this article will teach you how to use their lessons to change your life. To achieve this, you must look for three things in every movie you watch. If the movie has all three, it can be a rich, meaningful experience that can change your life while you’re also having fun.

Here’s what to look for:

1. Does this movie inspire you? Great mentors must be able to bring out the best in us. A good movie must have the power to inspire you through the characters it brings to life. If you love a movie, you can use it as your inspirational force by answering these questions:
How did this film inspire you to go after what’s important in you life? What did the characters teach you about success and what will you do to follow their examples? What did the characters teach you about mistakes and what harmful actions will you avoid in your life?

2. Does this movie stir in you powerful emotions? In watching a movie, it’s safe to feel emotions you usually hide in real life, from sadness and pain to joy and bliss. Life is full of emotion. If a movie can not stir powerful emotions in you, it’s not a story about real life but a lifeless illustration in motion. To make the most out of a good film’s ability to stir powerful emotions, answer these questions:
What powerful feelings did this movie stir in you? How have you been handling those feelings in real life (such as avoiding, suppressing, or letting out of control) and what results are you getting? Can you make any improvements in the way you are handling those feelings?

3. Does this movie show you how to handle the unknown? Like a great teacher, a good movie must have lessons that prepare you for the unknown and warn you about the dangers of the future. The characters must be honest examples of real people and their ways of dealing with life’s curveballs must teach meaningful lessons for your life. To make the most out of those lessons, answer these questions:
What did this character (or characters) do to face that unexpected challenge? What happened as a result? What am I learning from the example of this character (or characters) that I must use (or avoid) in my own life, when I face a similar challenge?

When a movie does not meet the three criteria, it can still influence you through other, equally important elements, such as special effects, cinematography, great action sequences, or the soundtrack. In such a case, ask yourself: “What do I like about this movie that I want to have more of in my life?” If it’s the music, then put more music in your life. If it’s the cinematography, then add in your schedule some art-related activities. If it’s the action sequences, then pick an area of your life that lacks action and do something about it.
3 Steps to Defining Success and Defining Your Future

April 4, 2018

Q: Are you a success?
A: Its all in how you define the word!

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican Village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented Miguel, the Mexican, on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. Miguel replied that it took only a little while.

The banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish. Miguel said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The banker then asked, But what do you do with the rest of your time?

Miguel said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The banker scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.

Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
Miguel asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”

To which the banker replied, “15-20 years.”
But what then, senor?
The banker laughed and said “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce a public listing and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”
“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The banker said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

What is your definition of success and how are you getting there?
As the story of Miguel so eloquently illustrates, life success is so closely tied to our values and the way that we want to live our lives. We can easily lose direction and what is truly important to us by being drawn to what success means to other people, ideologies, or pop culture. Being clear on what success means to you and how you are working toward it is EVERYTHING!

Check Yourself
Take a moment to ponder the direction that your current choices are leading you in your life, career, relationships, and health.

Now, make sure you are clear that how you are living in relation to each area is how you ought to be living according to your personal values. You may need to first get clear about your values in each area. Hint: grab a pen and paper for this one.

Finally, identify one step you could take in each of the four areas that would bring you closer, or more fully into, what is truly successful in these areas.

Just as the investment banker believed that Miguel should live by the bankers definition of success, so do we often live our lives by a completely different definition of success than we truly ought.

A thoughtful check of your internal map and compass could start small changes that can take you to destinations as different as Wall Street is to a small fishing village in Mexico!
How to be a Responsible Coach

April 3, 2018

Assuming the Responsibilities that come with Being a Coach who can forget the famous line of Peter Parker (Spiderman’s grandfather)? He said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Society expects Spiderman – a comic book, TV and movie superhero with extraordinary powers – to be responsible for saving his town and the world from the forces of Evil. And he never let us down. Despite the temptations of owning such powers, he uses his abilities only for the good of the people around him.

Being a coach has similar parallels. They don’t have superhuman powers such as x-ray vision or flying through the air with magic “sticky ropes”. But great coaches can have real power through their abilities to help others – and with it, the responsibility – to guide others towards success. This is REAL power that can be used to help real people in THIS world. Done well, coaches can help others turn around their lives. Done wrong, and a coach could guide a client down the wrong path.

So, with this power to coach your clients towards manifesting their personal and/or business vision comes responsibilities. Great coaches assume them all as part of the professional responsibility. This can include everything from making sure your client is moving in the right direction, getting them back on course when they are not, and developing and tracking their use of exercises to help them along the way.

There are a few things you can do to be a more responsible coach. Just as important, these same skills can be imparted to your clients to help them lead more responsible, integrity-filled lives.

How to Bring out the more Responsible “You” in Yourself and your Client:

#1 – Develop self-awareness
Learn and know your own strengths and weaknesses to be able to view your behavior objectively. Recognize your shortcomings, receive feedback, and make changes when necessary. The more self-aware you become of all your aspects, the more you will know what kind of clients you can coach best and – just as important – those best referred to others.

Dr. Gerard Bell, business consultant and professor at the University of North Carolina in
Chapel Hill, advises us on how to expand our self-knowledge. He said, “Study yourself closely and practice self-assessment techniques to learn how you behave, and the effects you have on others. As others for their option, feedback, and suggestions to become a better coach.”

The lesson is simple: the more we grow, the more we can offer, and the more we can help others.

#2: Learn to Separate Responsibility from Worry
When we hear the word “responsibility”, we often think to ourselves, “Another task, another problem.” However, responsibility is not about worrying over things give to us to work out. Consider this story:

One night at the end of the second shift, the Head of Operations walked out of the plant he managed and passed a porter. A porter he passed said, “Mr. Smith, I sure wish I had your pay. But I wouldn’t want the worry that goes with it.”

Mr. Smith answered, “I give the best I can when I am here. But I drop the worry when I leave so I can be 100% with my family when I’m at home.”

You, too, can learn to give your best to challenging work, but then “leave it at the door” when you’re off-hours. Worrying accomplishes nothing except to eat away at us, and actually ends up making us less effective! Don’t let worry taint your clarity of judgment and ability to take decisive action. You can learn this as you grow.

Carrying the responsibility of coaching should not intimidate you. It is the ability to help others that coaching is all about. Embrace the responsibilities that come with it.

Nothing is gained by worrying about whether your clients achieve their goals or not. Focus on supporting and inspiring them. Be their partner in their growth. Brainstorm with them when it is called for. But ultimately, it is your client’s responsibility to assume responsibility for accomplishing their goals. You merely help them see and achieve this state.

#3: Take Calculated Risks and Learn from Your Mistakes

Effective coaches have the courage to ask their clients to take risks when results and success are uncertain. A willing ness to risk failure is a core attribute of all successful people.

As a coach you can help your clients work with risk and possible failure. Help them learn to analyze their situation and options. Work with them to list the pros and cons for each option, then assign each choice a risk factor rating from 1 to 5. Next, have them determine the likelihood of each occurring. This will help them quantify and manage the risk-taking process.

Also, lead them to a better paradigm regarding failure. What is failure other than great feedback that our current course of action isn’t the right path? Use this information for course correction. Failure doesn’t happen until we give up. If you don’t give up, then failure isn’t an option.

#4: Own and admit our mistakes
Our greatest lessons and growth come through our mistakes. Everyone makes them; it is part of life. Help your client understand this, and they will be able to draw the necessary lessons and take corrective action. If we do the “blame game”, we don’t even take the first step (ownership) in this process.

Not only does owning our mistakes and failures help us to be more truthful and powerful in our own lives. Owning and assuming responsibility for them lets others see the integrity and virtue within us, and hence further gain their respect.
“I’m a Terrible Writer”: A Non-Writer’s Guide to Improving Your Everyday Writing

April 2, 2018

At the beginning of every session I’ve ever taught writing, at least one student in the class will issue the disclaimer, “I’m a terrible writer.” That student seems to think he or she is incorrigible, hopeless, a lost cause with the written word. The poor kid was probably just the victim of too much red ink from some past English teacher. Almost without fail, I find that that student has a lot of promise as a writer and needs only a little tweaking of his or her writing. Educated people will judge you by how you write, so polishing your writing is worth the effort. Improving your everyday writing requires time, determination, and a forgiving spirit, but anybody can do it.

1. Pay attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly noticed how many other cars just like yours are out on the roads? Plainly stated, you notice what you pay attention to. Good writers pay attention to words, written and spoken. Tune in to the language “wavelength” and discover what you can learn.

2. Surround yourself with words well spoken. Pick out someone you admire whose speech you would like to emulate. Listen to talk radio or watch C-SPAN or other television shows that deal with ideas. But choose your language models carefully. The fact is that we write what we hear in our heads, and what we hear in our heads is what we surround ourselves with.

3. Read, read, read. The best writers are those who have read a lot. Reading almost any kind of prose can help you improve your writing. If you like sports, don’t limit yourself to the box scores: read the sports columnists. Read the editorial pages of major newspapers, or seek out not just the news but the feature articles, especially in Sunday papers. These writers are published not just because they have something to say, but because they say it well. Immerse yourself in good writing.

4. Pull your grammar book off that dusty shelf. If you threw away your last grammar book from school, go buy another one. If you have questions about the correct form of a sentence, use that book to research the problem and the answer. Grammar is not rocket science, so don’t be intimidated by it. As quirky as English can be, a lot of grammar is actually quite logical. You don’t have to memorize everything in the book: just use it when you need it. I’ve found that many writers have only one or two basic grammar issues that they’ve never had explained to them. Figure out what your misunderstandings are, and you’re halfway to their resolution. Ask a knowledgeable friend for help, if you want.

5. Use your dictionary regularly. Don’t depend on spell check. Spell check can be a safety net before you send out a piece of writing to your boss, but train your brain to become your spell checker. Make a list of words you regularly misspell (spell check can tell you what they are). If you hear a word you are unfamiliar with, look it up to see how it is spelled. Become curious about words. This is why a dictionary can be so important: you not only can learn the correct spelling of words, but you can learn how they are used in different contexts. You can even discover a word’s roots, which might help you make sense of its meanings and spelling. Spell check just isn’t enough.

6. Use your thesaurus sparingly. A thesaurus is a great tool for reminding you of words you already know how to use, but if you are unfamiliar with a word or have never heard or read it being used, don’t use it. There is no more obvious giveaway that a person doesn’t have a clue than a person regularly misusing big words. Write to express, not to impress.

7. Keep it simple. Unless you make your living as a novelist or poet, your main purpose in writing is probably to communicate an idea clearly and concisely so that others understand it. Before you send out a memo or letter, write what you mean to say in plain English, as if you were writing it to your best friend. Then read it as if you are the recipient of that memo or letter – did you leave something out that is necessary to understanding your point? Is there a sentence that doesn’t make sense? Reduce your sentences to their simplest possible form, and then add whatever details are necessary to make your meaning clear. This is not a license to be rude – etiquette, common courtesy, and protocol are necessary. But writing your idea for another person to understand doesn’t require unnecessary complexity or ten dollar words.

8. Use the active voice, not the passive voice. “John hit Paul” (active) is a stronger sentence than “Paul was hit by John.” Of course, it depends on whom you want to emphasize, the “hitter” or the “hittee”. Sometimes you may want to be intentionally vague: “Mistakes were made” (but you don’t want to state by whom, or maybe you don’t know). The passive voice is perfectly grammatical; just determine what your intention is and use the active voice whenever possible.

9. Use strong verbs, and its corollary, write in complete sentences. You can make your writing clear by focusing on the action in the sentence. One strong verb carries more punch than a long string of adverbs.

10. Make sure your pronoun references are clear. Will your reader be able to figure out which “she” you mean, Linda or Connie? What is “it” – a plan, an idea, a dog? The antecedent of the pronoun, the word that comes before to which the pronoun refers, needs to be obvious to avoid misunderstanding.

11. Be careful with punctuation. It has been said that punctuation marks are like traffic signals, indicating when you should stop or pause in your reading. Maybe. But more punctuation doesn’t necessarily make your writing any clearer. Here’s where your grammar book can come in handy. Remember that punctuation marks themselves don’t carry any meaning. If your words don’t already describe some strong feeling, an exclamation point isn’t going to help. Overusing exclamation points is unprofessional.

12. Forgive yourself and others. You are going to continue to make mistakes, and so will even the best writers around you. Publishing houses have copy editors for authors who make millions of dollars writing books, because everyone who writes occasionally makes mistakes. It’s just a matter of degree: are your mistakes constant or occasional? So if you write something that you or someone else notices is ungrammatical or misspelled or incomplete, correct it, get over it, but don’t give up on yourself.

You want your first impression to be a good one, whether it be how you look or how you write. Learning to improve your everyday writing is a long term proposition and one that requires work, but if it’s what you really want, it’s worth the time and the effort.